children are a blessing - part 3 :)

Oh, the beauty of a quiet house when everyone has finally fallen into bed...:) By the way, it's 9:15 p.m. right now. I was noticing that the times on my post are way off - not sure why, but I haven't been writing at the funky times that it's saying I am.

So, where was I? Oh yeah, the history of birth control. I won't say too much because I'm just in the beginning stages of reading up on this and haven't read extensively. Here's what I would recommend reading if you want to get a taste of what happened (I'll just mention a little here because it's a lot of info): just get on Wikipedia and read about Margaret Sanger or get any books about her or you could read the one RB and I were looking at that p.m. in the library called Blessed are the Barren (don't remember the author). Basically, in the early 1900's there were actually laws (the Comstock Laws, I believe) that completely forbade the distribution, sale, or importing of birth control or even information about birth control. Now this alone was a shocking fact to me. It had never even occurred to me that something like birth control had ever even been considered immoral, but it was by most everyone. Actually, it was still considered illegal in some states, one as late as the 1960s! We read quotes from the Washington Post about how terrible it was after its introduction. This woman, Margaret Sanger, a godless champion of birth control and eugenics, founded what later became Planned Parenthood. Her primary motivation for promoting birth control was to prevent the reproduction of "unfit" people. She was a racist and actually paid off black doctors to speak in Harlem because she wanted to limit reproduction of African Americans. Here is a quote which she cites in one of her books: "Ignorance, poverty, and vice must stop populating the world. To accomplish this there is but one way. Science must make woman the owner, the mistress of herself. Science, the only possible savior of mankind, must put it in the power of woman to decide for herself whether she will or will not become a mother." (from a book called Woman of Valor: Margaret Sanger and the Birth Control Movement in America by Ellen Chesler). This just doesn't sound anything like God to me. :) Our pastor often talks about how we're like fish swimming in our culture and sometimes we've been swimming in it for so long that we don't even realize that it's not normal in the kingdom of God. Therefore, it takes effort to break out of the current and swim upstream. That p.m., I felt like God was showing us that we had been swimming in a cultural "norm" for so long that we had never even stopped to question whether it was the "norm" in the REAL kingdom! I sat there with my mouth literally hanging open and I just kept saying, "I've got to go home and throw them away (condoms)." (FYI, I haven't been on the BC pill since before McKenna was born because it messed me up!) We made it to the car and I started crying. Randy kept cracking witty little jokes and then would try to calm down and respond sensitively. It just all seemed right to him and made him happy and so he truly wasn't upset. I'm actually VERY thankful for this - I don't know what I would've done if God had shown only one of us.
In the car, I went into "argue-with-God" mode and began throwing out my 1001 reasons why this was a BAD idea! Here is the abridged list:
-what will people THINK about us; not to mention what they'll SAY!
-only WEIRD people have huge families and don't "believe" in birth control!
-we're never going to be "free" to do all the things we want to do
-I can't give everyone what they need emotionally
-what if we run out of money to support everyone
-our kids will be upset, esp. McKenna
-I'll have to drive some WEIRD car like a 15-PASSENGER VAN!
-I cannot handle being pregnant one more time.
-I could be having kids for another 10-15 years - or LONGER!
-what if I have one with Down's Syndrome - after all, I'm considered "high-risk" now
-no one is ever going to invite us over for dinner again - there will be too many of us
-I'm never going to be out of this baby stage
-I'm scared to death and I just can't do this
...really, I could have gone on and on, but I noticed that most of my reasons had to do with fear of man and my own selfishness and it was undeniable in my spirit that this was God. There was no way to say, "Okay, God, I can see where you're coming from, but I just think I'll stick to my original plan (which is a big fat joke because neither Isaac nor Malachi had been in my PLAN)!" Randy actually couldn't stop laughing that night about the fact that we were getting this revelation after SIX KIDS! God had literally had to run right over us the last couple of times. He was going to give us a big family whether we were in on it or not!
I went to bed that night replaying this new THING in my mind over and over and over again. When I woke up the next a.m., I literally thought it had been a dream it was so surreal. It was not. I had just stood at the top of Mount Everest the p.m. before, thrown out my arms and fallen backwards, surrendering the number of children we would have to Creator God. My only "comfort" at first was that He IS in charge which means that He can open OR close someone's womb whenever He wants to! That morning I went in to have my quiet time with Jesus, pretty eager to talk to Him about all of this. He just further hammered in the nails of truth to my heart so that I would not be able to doubt that it was Him. I began looking through the gospel of Mark, trying to find the passage when Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me." I knew that if I wasn't convinced that GOD thought children were wonderful, then I NEVER would be able to fully embrace this plan. In Mark in my Bible, certain underlined verses jumped out at me. Here is what I saw, in this order:
"Don't be afraid. Just believe." Mark 5:36b
"You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men."
Mk 7:8
And then there was Mark 9:33-37 which is the story about the 12 apostles arguing about who was the greatest among them. So Jesus gets them off by themselves and says "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Then He has a little kid come and stand among them and says (with the child in His arms), "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." It was like I had never read this story as it suddenly occurred to me that when Jesus told them they must be the servant of all, He didn't bring a poor man or a sick woman or a widow to plant in the middle of them...He brought a child. The servant of all. It looked like God was giving me the chance to be "first" by being the "servant of all" in my own home. Welcoming children is welcoming Jesus Himself, God Himself. This went further than my own family. This meant ALL children. Every kid that would show up at my door during the summer. Every child at Op Camp. God doesn't just value them a little.
By the way, Mark 10 contains the story of the little children coming to Jesus - I was so messed up by the time I finally got there that I didn't ponder that story very long!

And then there are other places (many, but I'll name just a few) that illustrate God's high value of children:
Psalm 127:3-5 - "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. The will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."
There's that crazy story of Onan - I'll let you read that one on your own, but this is the only story I know of that literally addresses birth control and God struck him DEAD!?! (Genesis 38)
Deut 28:11 and 30:9 - talk about the Lord making the Israelites prosperous in the work of their hands and the fruit of their womb. There's a lot of this kind of talk all through the OT - it was always considered a blessing to have lots of children! In fact, it was considered a sign of prosperity. I don't see when God changed His mind on this - in America, WE did, due to the insidious lies of the Enemy. Randy is over here just reading scripture after scripture that have to do with God blessing His people - it almost always includes children. I've started noticing how often the exact opposite sentiment is expressed in our culture, both in Christian and non-Christian circles. I RARELY hear positive responses from people when they inquire about whether or not ALL these children are mine. I think we actually piously look down on families with many children as irresponsible and/or unenlightened. I should know - I was doing that just a few months ago (a little ironic since most wouldn't consider our family small).

We told our children that a.m. that God had showed us that we were supposed to have as many children as He wanted us to have. I don't know why I was surprised, but they were all very excited (Luke was a little confused - of course, God decides that sort of thing!). Josiah had been telling us since before Malachi's birth that we were definitely going to have Piper Joy later. I guess we'll see! :)

So here we are....I confess that it's been a roller coaster. This summer I usually had at least 8-10 kids in my house at least 4 days of the week. And there are always little trials along the way among our own children. Just about a month ago, I was really struggling with all of this again because I felt a bit "trapped" by the thought of continuing this season of pregnancy, small children, and PEOPLE around ALL the TIME!! But God has turned my heart quite a bit, even in the last week. I'm beginning to delight in everything they do. Watching how God has planted 8 different personalities in this family is fascinating. And it is such a picture of the Body of Christ. We all have different gifts and we really NEED each other. We have to learn to LOVE each other. There's just a lot of dying to self and who enjoys THAT! But God is continually showing us that it is worth it - now and for eternity. Stanley Shipp used to always say that "People are either in your life or in your way." I'm so ready to stop acting like my children are in my way.

Another thing I read recently that really encouraged me was a book called A Mom Just Like You by Vickie Farris. It's actually a book about homeschooling, but chapters 3 and 4 are about her journey in giving up birth control. And finally (God has just kept sending us these great resources to encourage us in this journey), a friend of mine sent me this sermon online a couple of weeks ago. It's a powerful message about home and family and presents an interesting view about youth ministry as well. Go to www.VoddieBaucham.org. Click on podcasts…scroll down to the message entitled “the centrality of the home". We couldn't argue a whole lot with Voddie.

I guess that's the story. I'm sure I'll remember some great little "nugget" that I left out and wished I hadn't. And I may regret having written any of this at all! I again just have to stress that my goal is not to make anyone feel guilty, etc. I just needed to share this story and I've really prayed a lot that this would be a testimony to God's goodness. May it bless you and may your children (if you have any little rewards from heaven) feel treasured and highly valued!