perseverance

Can I just say that I feel like I'm in the middle of a marathon, but the truth is that I'm not in the middle of it - I'm at the very beginning!?  Six children is a lot - and we're not even to seven yet.  And in spite of the fact that I know without a shadow of a doubt that we're supposed to leave the "final number" in God's hands, I still can't go there in my head on most days.  Yesterday I decided that it was time to stop making excuses and take all six kids to the mall to go shopping for some much needed clothing.  I was ready to kill myself by the end of that trip.  Okay, I'm exaggerating.  But good night!  I think it took us 15 minutes just to get loaded up in the car.  It took something like 5 hours just to eat lunch in the food court (okay, I confess I am again exaggerating, but it felt like 5 hours).  I then had to return a couple of things to Dillards, which took much too long (could people not HEAR us?).  By the time we made it to Old Navy, Malachi and Isaac were bickering in the double stroller and Malachi just kept screaming (it was WAY past naptime after the 5 hour lunch).  I just inched the stroller along, with McKenna trying to bribe people with candy, grabbing 2 for $10 shirts and hoping they would fit.  I don't know how many questions I answered and how many complaints I heard.  And did I mention that people stare at us a lot?  I'd like to think it's my stunning beauty and sexy legs (if you could see my legs right now, this would REALLY make you laugh - pasty white with large purple explosions everywhere like a 90 year old granny - not attractive), but I think it may have more to do with the fact that I'm walking around with 6 precious little blessings and I'm clearly having another one!  We're like a moving circus!  And really no one was misbehaving (at least not dramatically)!  All I can say is that I'm not taking everyone to the mall again for at least 8 years.  Okay, maybe never.

I was praying this morning about persevering with joy and I just had to tell God that He HAS to do this work in me.  I mean, some people have a tendency to stick it out to the bitter end even in their flesh.  I don't even have THIS going for me!  My default is to quit when it gets hard - Randy keeps telling me I can't.  Okay, but would an occasional trip to Jamaica be out of the question? I think Jesus is the ONLY hope!!  :)  :)