a few pics from the beach

Okay, I should REALLY be in bed right now due to the fact that I've only slept about 3 hours or less in the past 36 hours, but I just can't go without posting a few of our beach pics for those of you who are not my facebook friends!  :)  We left Florida in the ugly gray van yesterday about 2:30 p.m. and arrived in Fort Worth at 4 :30 a.m. today.  Malachi did NOT perform according to our plan that he sleep deeply in the car for most of the 14-hour trip, so you would think that he would have been out until at least 9 a.m. or so today.  No such luck.  He was yelling his morning "MA!" at 7:15 a.m.  Yes, he calls me "MA".  Kind of makes me feel like we've gone back in time to Little House on the Prairie or something....Anyway!  More later about how this was the best family vacation we've ever had.  Here are some pics!

buried in the sand and panicking!

Look Mom, I've got a sand crab!

I mean, really, are there any cuter kids on the planet?!  Please note that Malachi's mid-section is substantially larger than his three-year-old brother's!!

they caught these hermit crabs in the beach "hood" under a bridge

we enjoyed our dusk beach adventures

the beach! a ridiculous commentary on all that I'm liking!

Well, I just discovered that I have no cord to transfer my pics.  I've dug through every computer bag and camera bag - we have like 10 cords at home!  :(  Oh well.  I'll post pics later (or maybe we can pick up a cord in Destin next time we go in to town).  For now let me just say that this place is WONDERFUL!!  We went to Destin about 3 or 4 years ago and stayed in a small condo complex that was nice and right on the beach.  I can't remember, but I think we probably paid the same or more as we're paying for this place and that other place was like a dump compared to this!!  This complex is huge, with two pools (one right on the beach and the other one HUGE), and right on the beach.  Our condo is not actually facing the beach, but it takes one minute to walk over.  Our beach is about 30 minutes from Destin and because we're here in off-season it feels like there is almost no one here.  A couple of nights ago, we had the beach to ourselves.  All 8 of us.  :)  So here is what I'm loving.  The condo itself is really nice inside - I love my home in Como and I wouldn't trade it for the world (really).  However!  Sometimes it's nice to have some of the little things that spoil us for just a short time!  For instance!  Randy and I have our OWN bathroom.  I think perhaps this is one of my top two things that I miss about my old house in Fort Worth (the other is a fireplace).  And in our OWN bathroom (which is huge), there is a HUGE shower with two shower heads and a garden tub with jets.  The appliances in the kitchen are new and updated and they all work.  :)  There is also a laundry room - okay, I often wish for a real laundry room where I can shut the door and not SEE all the dirty clothes.  Funny how this nice place has NOT taken up my laundry and done it for me.  Funny how the laundry just won't go away, esp when we go through multiple outfits, swimsuits a day!  :)  But that's okay - I get to do all this laundry in a laundry room.  We also have a 4th floor balcony with a little table and two reclining chairs that overlooks that beautiful big pool with a fountain in the middle.  ALL of this to say that I'm thankful for the little things that are making me feel pampered.  And talk about being pampered - the beauty of the ocean is always overwhelming, esp. here in the white sand beaches!  When we went out this a.m., the water was very still and perfectly blue.  You can stand for probably over 100 yards out and watch the tiny fish feed around your feet.  Sea gulls and other little interesting birds fly overhead often and this a.m. we looked and saw dolphins breaking the surface of the water only about 150 yards away from shore!  My children are happy as clams playing in the water and sand for long periods of time and there are just so few "rules" for them to worry about.  Malachi is intimidated enough that he won't just run into the water without assistance.  He just sits and digs and watches everything with delight.  Isaac and Moriah have life jackets and so we don't have to worry about them at all.  Sweet Isaac stays in the water most of the time trying to catch fish and find crabs.  Luke can throw himself in the water or in the sand and no one reprimands him for being a little too "enthusiastic"!  :)  Josiah is always building or digging something.  And McKenna and I are enjoying sitting there watching everyone else, reading, and taking an occasional dip when we get too hot or sandy.  Randy plays with everyone pretty much the whole time or tries to catch creatures.  There is no pressure to DO anything.  Our only agenda for the rest of the week is to go somewhere where we can catch hermit crabs and to eat out one night in Destin (we've been cooking here).  The last time I put on makeup was Sunday morning before church (so you won't be seeing a lot of pics of me!).  Oh yeah, let me just pause here to give tribute to my father-in-law, Grandpa Brown.  Dale, you have successfully passed down your family tradition to always go to church no matter where you are or what you're doing on Sunday a.m.!  :)  LOL!  I used to get really irritated, but I found myself quite content this week to let my sweet hubby take us on the adventure of finding another part of the body of Christ to go worship with on Sunday a.m.  My kids were not quite as amused as I was!  HA!  We went to this small community church that met in an old fancy bank building and was mostly composed of upper class older people.  We were 20 minutes late and made lots of people smile as we had to parade in front of them all as we entered the building!  Here's the AMAZING part - all six of my children sat for one hour without a peep and fooled everyone into thinking that we are always so reticent and well-behaved!!!  LOL!  McKenna saved the day because she had a stash of collected peppermints from various restaurants in her purse which Malachi and Isaac happily ate the entire time!  I love that my kids will never forget how their daddy always took our whole family to unfamiliar churches so that we could experience more than what we are comfortable with - actually, now that I think about it, that's what he does with us all the time!!  Praise God for this man that doesn't like to "play it safe!"  I guess that's MORE than enough for now - wish I could post my pictures.  We'll just have to find a way to make that work before the end of the week!     

Piper Joy

I love sitting here feeling this little girl doing somersaults in my belly.  I haven't been taking much time to really marvel at the fact that there is another little person living in there (and she'll be here in around 12 weeks)!!  Sometimes I'm overwhelmed when I look at my children.  Isaac wasn't "planned", but then there was Malachi who escaped the vasectomy that we cancelled and then just never got around to rescheduling.  I tell him all the time that I'm so glad he's here and that Piper wouldn't be coming if it weren't for his life!  I still am just BLOWN AWAY every time I  really start thinking about this whole scenario...it is profound and beautiful and so Jesus.  By the way, if you happened to read last night's blog and prayed that the funk would go away, thanks.  It was pretty much gone today.  We leave in less than 48 hours for Blue Mountain Beach!!  Hopefully, I"ll be posting some really fun pics during the next week!  Of course, NONE of them will be of me in a swimsuit - THAT would NOT be an attractive sight!

big bad funk

Don't even know why I'm blogging right now.  Seem to be under this funky dark cloud that descended for no apparent reason this afternoon.  Praise God, this feeling has become so incredibly UNfamiliar that now it's extremely obvious when it happens.  He is so good.  I think I'll just go to bed now.  To sit here and ramble about all the things that seem overwhelming at the moment would undoubtedly NOT be productive.  I was with a friend last night who has taken a challenge from another woman's blog to write down 1000 things that she's thankful for in a journal.  I started mine today.  The woman says that it has changed her life and others testify to their physical, emotional, and mental health improving.  I know this is true.  God commands thankfulness and joy because He knows what we need!  Think I'll go write down a few more things in that journal.  "fix your eyes on Jesus..."

Just read this blog entry recommended by that same friend.  Really encouraging!  www.aholyexperience.com/2007/10/peace-is-person.html  (can someone tell me why I can't make this a direct link?  yes, i'm computer illiterate!)

Football

So I'm coaching for the Como Lions, as Luke and Josiah play on their respective teams. I love it. It's bringing back memories of my glory days playing high school football. But I have to say, I'm not a very good coach yet. The truth is, I haven't watched much football on TV in the past 15 years. My boys haven't watched a full game of football at our house on TV more than once or twice in their lives. We just don't watch TV much. So the second day of practice I walked up to hear some coaches arguing about which wide receiver was the greatest. I had never heard of either one of the choices. Suddenly, one of them turned to me and said, "What do you think Coach Brown?" I thought about mentioning Lynn Swann or Drew Pearson, but instead I just said something like, "I'm not sure which one is better. That's a tough call."
I don't think I fooled them.
This us Luke's first season to play, and he and Josiah have both done a great job. It's like learning a completely new vocabulary in a different dialect. Words like dive, and sweep, and pitch had no meaning to Luke before we started. He's learning fast, but his lack of knowledge is a bit glaring. One of the coaches finally said, "He doesn't watch much football does he?" I had to confess at that point. I'd like to invite anybody reading this who has cable and a big screen TV who happens to live near Como to invite me and the boys over to watch a few games this season.
Randy

are these cute boys or WHAT?

I've been planning on taking a pic to blow up poster size for the boys room for probably a year now.  Although not perfect, I think this one is the winner.  I'm going to put a favorite scripture for them at the bottom.  Aren't they cute?  They're all sleeping in the same room now.  Malachi is thinking he is quite the big boy - maybe it has something to do with that belly...

I was attempting to get the boys on the same level with the baby, but the baby decided to copy his brothers.  
I mean, really, he looks pregnant!  Too much ice cream this summer??  :)  LOL!  This whole little photo session (which lasted all of 10 minutes) was a hoot!
These guys sure do love their little brother (and he thinks they're pretty cool too).

WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE THINKING?!?

I just have to blog again.  I feel like we are trying to straddle two different planets!!  :)  LOL!  Tonight we jumped into a whole new world.  Football.  And not just any football.  Como football.  Randy's gift to Luke for Christmas was the agreement that he would coach Luke's team in whatever he wanted to play this fall.  He's wanted to play tackle football for a while, but did NOT want to attempt football in our hood until this week.  After praying and having LOTS of conversations over the past few days, we feel like we're supposed to do this.  Randy will be an assistant coach.  But let me paint a picture of what this will look like for the Browns.  They just don't play around in Como when it comes to football.  Practice every night of the week except Wednesdays from 6:30 - 8 p.m.  Tonight they were there from 6:15 - 8:45.  Hmmm...  Maybe just because it was the first night of practice?  Games every Saturday.  And this all goes on until mid-November (right around the time I'm due with our 7th child) because they usually make it to the "Superbowl."  We're talking Homecoming, cheerleaders, lots of fundraisers, the whole deal.  And these boys range in age from 4 (yeah, that's right) to 12.  Josiah is on the "B" team (9-10 year olds) with his buddy, Elliott Connally (our friends who just moved here).  And Luke is on the "C" team with his dad helping out with coaching.  The really nice thing is that they practice on the same field which is less than 5 minutes from our house every night.  And their games will always be at the same time on the weekends (11 a.m. and noon).  At least we won't be running all over the place getting people to different places.  This is a HUGE commitment.  Randy doesn't want to take it lightly for Luke's sake and because we're in a little different environment.  Let's just say that we stand out a bit.  Literally, most of these kids have been playing football since they were 4 years old.  They do play flag until they're six.  LOL!  And Elliott, Josiah, and Luke are the only caucasian boys out there.  They worked their fannies off tonight, but my boys were so excited when they got home and couldn't stop talking about it.  And they gladly took showers and went to bed with no arguing.  WORN out!  We'll see - I think I may have to get a little tougher skin to watch them get hit when the time comes!  Bottom line is that this is a mission/kingdom of God decision for us. Randy is really looking forward to time with his boys, and this will be A LOT of time with them.  .  Also, there's no doubt that we will know so many more people in our community by the time this is over.  And it's another way in which to cross some racial barriers which were obvious - though subtly -  even tonight.  This is our neighborhood, and we really look forward to getting to know our neighbors.  There will be grace from God for all that lies ahead for this season!!

In the meantime, Randy and I have just opened a box full of books for McKenna's Bible/history/literature course that she will be taking online during her year at home in the fall.  We are continuing classical education because she may be back at CCS next year.  Can I just say that I would've cried if I had seen this stuff in COLLEGE??!!  And I was an English major!  Here are a few of the titles (and these are all translations of the original, unabridged texts):  Plutarch's Lives, Volume I, The Odyssey, Aeschylus I, The Landmarks Herodotus... and there are more, but it makes me want to cry to think about it.  My husband just declared that he's going to try to read all of it so he can talk about it with her.  I just don't even think I have it in me to read even one!!  :)  Really.  These are college books.  I think I must be really dense.  Or maybe I really have lost lots of brain cells.  I love books, but I can't get even a little excited about these.  I'll let you know if anything changes over the next few months!  I'm going to have to fake it really well when my sweet daughter gets home - or at least give her lots of doughnuts and milk to go with these when she's reading them!  :)

Randy said a few minutes ago that if there is a continuum, we are experiencing two COMPLETELY opposite extremes:  football as a god on one end; education as a god on the other.  I just can't stop laughing.  I think I need some ice cream... 

Jesus

Okay, I just read an update from Randy's partner at work who is in Kenya with his whole family.  I think I could cry for a long time.  They are spending lots of time in orphanages with what sounds like almost unspeakable conditions.  She said they're fighting nausea, etc. a lot because of all the smells, etc.  The part that ripped my heart out was her statement that they are being swarmed by kids who all want to be held or touched.  It's not fair.  And in the middle of all that, she's got to think about her own children and disease, etc.  It's Jesus.  They get to touch the heart of Jesus this week in a way that most of us seek to avoid our whole lives.  But that's it.  THIS is who Jesus is - people.  And not the ones that we really long to hang out with.

I'm reading through Mark right now and this a.m. I was reading chapter 6.  I was just thinking about capacity and people.  The apostles had just come back from being sent out by Jesus to heal the sick and cast out demons.  They were pretty pumped, but I'm sure drained and exhausted.  He invites them to come away with Him to a quiet place and get some rest - they hadn't even eaten yet.  What a beautiful invitation.  But the crowds chase them to the other side of the lake and they are greeted by more PEOPLE!  You'd think Jesus might have said, "You know, these guys have really given a lot over the past several days.  I'm going to go ahead and let them go or send all these needy people away."  But no.  Instead, He has compassion on the crowds and starts teaching them.  Then the apostles have probably had it and they tell Jesus he should send them away now to go get food.  These guys still haven't eaten - am I the only one that gets a little testy when hungry and tired?  Now Jesus tells them to FEED them!!  No wonder they were a little perturbed at His suggestion!  FINALLY, after they've cleaned up after 5000+ people, He sends them away in a boat while He deals with sending the crowds away.  But even their little boat ride doesn't go all that well!  The wind is too strong and they can't even get to where they want to go easily.  That's when Jesus shows up walking on the water and the wind calms down.  And here it says they were amazed because they hadn't UNDERSTOOD the loaves because their hearts were hard.  All I'm saying is, maybe they were too tired to get it?  I don't know.  I just know that as I was praying a lot about our fall schedule this morning, this chapter struck me as interesting.  Jesus is King.  And He defines our capacity and sometimes pushes us beyond what we think we can handle.  In every instance, He shows up and works a miracle.  I'm not saying we shouldn't establish boundaries, etc.  I think those are more important than I ever have.  I just think we tend to want to point to all the passages that talk about Jesus withdrawing to lonely places to pray to justify our tendency to want to shut and the doors and windows and be alone.  Are we really praying when we're "refueling"?  And are we withdrawing at like 4 or 5 a.m. and then spending the rest of our day loving and pouring ourselves out for people?!  Ugh, I just want to surrender my time and my plans to Him.  Even with my children.  I'm constantly fighting the battle in surrendering my "rights" in the mundane daily stuff of raising six kids.  It is getting easier, but I wonder if it will ever completely disappear.  No.  Then I wouldn't need Jesus anymore.  SO!  My baby is waking up, letting me know that my time for writing is over.  May we all walk with the King of Kings today - actually, I'd like to dance with Him all day - as we let Him lead and not fight His very good plans.  

and then there's his wife...

I loved RB's blog about Op Camp - and the cool thing is that those really are the reasons he went to Op Camp and loved it.  I don't think he explained very well that he and I both began going to Op Camp as counselors when we were around 16 years old in California.  The one in West Texas began when I was a senior in high school and then the Como Op Camp just celebrated its third year.  Pretty amazing - and yes, we're getting OLD!  :)  But here's what made me laugh about his whole sweetly spiritual commentary on his experience - I do not remember one kid that I encountered at Op Camp.  I remember being very intimidated by the kids and often wishing I didn't have to deal with any of their needy issues.  MY favorite part of camp was Randy Brown (or whatever boy I happened to be dating at the time - usually him) and I could tell you lots of memories about that hunk of a high school boy!  I'm not sure where all of our supervision was in California, but we spent at least one night out under the stars with a few other friends all night and never got in trouble.  Now let me defend his honor - this was also the camp in which he told me that he had decided not to kiss me until we got married (he's always been quite the visionary, even at 16).  So he gave me a Hershey's kiss (which I kept for years until it was eaten by a worm) and our sleeping under the stars was kept perfectly innocent.  We wrote numerous love letters to each other during the week (which I still have) and as long as I knew I'd be seeing him OFTEN during the week, then Op Camp was absolutely wonderful!  :):)  So there you have it.  My self-absorbed little high school self was pretty unconcerned with the inner-city poor children of Oakland.  I went for the boyfriend.  But isn't it cool how God uses us in all our messed-upness (yes, I realize I just invented that word) to accomplish His purposes and give Himself glory?  Isn't it cool that some of our first experiences together were with the poor?  I love the stories God writes!  And by the way, in case you're not familiar with the rest of that story, Randy and I dated until my junior year/his senior year in high school and then he dumped me (he was quite the football jock - go "Killer!").  He still had not kissed me and some other football teammate later stole my man's first kiss - sigh.  I thought we were done forever, but God brought us back together my sophomore/his junior year in college.  I was the first and the only woman he has ever kissed!  I love my man.  And I love our life together.

Op Camp

I just came home from Opportunity Camp today.  I was the camp doctor, but only in title.  The truth is I delegated all the nursing duties, and most all the duties were nursing duties.  I really like my role at camp, it's sort of a father-figure role.  This year I didn't feel like I worked very hard.  I found myself remembering my days as a counselor back in high school.  I was a little jealous of the counselors at camp this year.  My job was much easier than theirs.  I didn't have to sleep in a cabin that smelled like stinky socks, or chase kids across the campground trying to keep them in Songfest, or moderate any number of endless skirmishes between unruly children.  I got to stay up as late as I wanted and talk to whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  

But at the end of camp, I didn't get to feel what the counselors felt--that sense that I they had just given every ounce of their strength to a bunch of kids, most of whom will never express any thankfulness.  

Loving the poor is a sacrament.  In loving the poor we actually experience Jesus in a physical way, just like communion or baptism or marriage.  When I think about why I want to love the poor, it's mostly because I want to know Jesus better.  It's like an addiction.  I got my first fix at Op Camp when I was in 9th grade wrestling to get an 8 year old camper from Oakland, California to go to bed and stop spitting on me.  I hated it, but I felt the deepest joy I had ever known.  I was really loving someone.  For the first time in my life I was loving without any expectation of love in return.  Not at first, of course.  I went to the camp the camp with noble plans to "train the poor little kids to be like me."  That week broke something in me: my expectation that people were supposed to love me back, and my sense of entitlement that said that I had a right to expect people to change in response to my efforts.  That was the part where I saw Jesus.  That's how he lived his whole life.  He didn't love to be loved.  He loved because he IS love.  And I'm no better than that 8 year old who never said thank you.

So if you want to see Jesus more clearly; if you want to see your heart changed to be more like His, find the most broken person you can find and give yourself to them unconditionally.  Not for a few hours, but for as long as it takes.  You will hate it.  It will offend you and confuse you and anger you.  You may get hurt physically.  You will be hurt emotionally.  And you will know Jesus more deeply than you have before.  It's like communion, but instead of just remembering the cross you get to taste a bit of its pain.

So I plan to go back to Opportunity Camp next year, and I suspect God wants me to be a camp doctor and mentor, but if I could choose anywhere to be, I'd be in the cabin with some bratty 8 year old and his stinky socks.

just one more thing...

I just have one more thing to write about my husband.  He was worried that he was "tooting his own horn" in his post from earlier today.  I hope no one interpreted it that way because that was definitely not how it was intended.  It truly is AMAZING to see how the power of God transforms people and works supernaturally in them to do what they could never do on their own - that is what has happened to him!  It's beautiful.  But what I just have to say is that I was sitting there on that pew on Sunday listening to him preach and I thought I was going to burst I was so in love with him.  I just sat there feeling sorry for anyone who wasn't married to my man!  ;0  God truly has done amazing things in our marriage!!  May He get ALL the glory!!

more thoughts on the beauty of motherhood

My friend, Rebekah, posted this quote on her blog and I really liked it.  Encouraging to me at the end of the day when I feel like I've answered a million and one questions and dealt with 2001 quarrels about NOTHING!! (I'm pretty confident that we exceeded the 30 opportunities for conflict today, but we should be down to six ops for a few days now - my 3 older kids are gone!  LOL!).  

The Flourishing Mother added in a good quote about this a while ago:
"The exponential nature of conflict in big families:
If you have two children, there are two possibilities for conflict (two times one)
Three children – six possibilities for conflict (three times two)
Four children – twelve opportunities for conflict (four times three)
Five children – TWENTY opportunities for conflict (five times four)
Six children – THIRTY opportunities for conflict (six times five)
Ay, yi, yi.
But I thought to myself: Andrea, that's silly. Remember that famous quote... from Stepping Heavenward?
A friend says to Katy (the character):
"You shall now have one more mouth to fill and two more feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing."
Her response?
"Well! That is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly servant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ’s name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!"
Despite the conflicts, the sorrow, the worry, the time lost for other "things", there is another side of it that must balance it out: the Joy. "

I really do find myself grieving sometimes because I want to be doing some things that I just flat out don't have time for.  I long to figure out more things about my camera and take the pictures that I see in my head all the time - to somehow capture the beauty and glory of God on film.  But at the end of the day, I don't want to think (and have very little capacity for it) anymore, so I sit around piddling my time away on the computer and giving little Piper Joy more late night snackies, usually dairy if you know what I mean!  :)   There are books I haven't read, movies I want to watch, people I want to have long conversations with, and mornings that I want to sleep in until the ridiculous hour of 8 a.m.!  But these things get to wait for now (and for who knows how much longer).  I love how God keeps reminding me that He pours out His life and His grace by the minute and He is giving me the life that WILL produce the most joy!  I was visiting with a friend the other night and she quoted this really old man who was glowing with the joy of Christ that she had just recently met.  He said that "Living is giving.  When you stop giving you become like the Dead Sea."  This seems like a no-brainer, but it has returned to my mind several times this week.  I like glowing-with-the-glory-of-Christ old people - they remind me that doing what I want to do when I want to do it is not the road to contentment and joy.  Good to remember on these days when I feel like I can't give one more iota of myself.  God is incomprehensibly good.  

I rented a couple of movies to watch tonight since my hubby is gone, but there is a HUGE list of things that I think I should be doing due to the fact that my youngest 3 are actually in bed at this hour.  We have recently entered into the new and unchartered world (for us, anyway) of adolescence and I'm finding that what little time I used to have during the evening alone with my spouse is quickly dwindling away as we find ourselves involved in more late night conversations (some pleasant and some not-so-much) with our eldest.  I wouldn't trade them for the world - really.  Just amazing how those new seasons of parenthood sneak up on you, especially with the firstborn!  Poor McKenna gets the best of the rookie parents every time!!  And so it will be until the day we die!  :)  She is a beautiful gift from God and I can't wait to see how she blossoms during this new season of her life.  Maybe I'll get crazy and take some pics tomorrow; post them on the blog for everyone to see....  

great little word from Francis Chan

Okay, one of my favorite pastors right now is Francis Chan - here is a 4 minute little blurb about "playing it safe".  So good.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ

How did I get here?

As I think about the events of the past few weeks, I am moved to reflect on the journey God has brought me on. Being at Pleasant Mount Gilead Church on Sunday was so much fun. In only the third time in my life that I have preached at a Sunday morning church service, I found myself in an African-American church in Como surrounded by people who were willing to listen to what I had to say, and accompanied by a group who had just followed me to Africa and back. If you know me, you are amazed at what God has done with me.
I am not a natural leader. In childhood I was painfully shy. We had a program to train elementary aged boys to lead parts of a church service. I hyperventilated when I had to read a scripture in front of people. The first time a led a prayer at church on a Sunday evening, I made the dreaded, "PRease pLay with me" slip up. In high school the youth minister twisted my arm to give a 15 minute devotional talk at his home, and I literally cried through the whole thing.
So how did I get here? Natural ability is not the right answer. My own righteousness certainly didn't get me here. Hard work and training is also not how it happened.
God brought me here in His time and in His way. I recently heard someone say that God doesn't give us the ticket we need until it's time to get on the bus. Well, apparently God's bus was ready to take me to a pulpit. I've learned enough to know that I want to stay on His bus, even if it's going to a scary place. And the great thing is that I didn't just endure the experience of preaching, I actually enjoyed it. I felt the pleasure of God in doing it. I still don't have any aspirations to be a preacher, or even to do regular public speaking, but I am enjoying the ride.

So how does an Anglo doctor who never had a real friend from the African-American community until about 6 years ago find himself in a life like this? One little step at a time. One closing prayer at church. One miserably awkward devotional. One morning after another of listening to God and doing what he says. One failure after another, until somehow, in spite of my ignorance and chronic rebellion, I look up and see that He has brought me into the Promised Land.
This might not look like the Promised Land from the outside. I haven't met many people who want to trade homes with us, but I love the life God has given us. I have the most beautiful wife in the world, and she has been transformed just like I have. Sunday I met with a couple who had been married for just a year. As we talked about their struggles I told stories of what our marriage was like 15 years ago. It is good to remember the days that I dreaded seeing my wife, and the long, long nights we struggled through. Our life is not perfect by any means, but our marriage is a delight to me. Our children, (with all their issues which I won't expound up here on the World Wide Web,) are a joy to my heart. I am surrounded by friends who care deeply about Jesus, and who encourage me to live a radical life of obedience. I look at the Mighty Men and I see young men who look and act more like Jesus than they did when I met them. I am part of an adventure that gets me excited and keeps me dreaming, and I am seeing God work in miraculous ways.
I know that this Promised Land is just the beginning of all that God is leading me into, but today I am stopping, bending over and taking a handful of fresh soil and bringing it to my nose to breathe deeply of the ground that God has given me. He may continue to expand my boundaries beyond my wildest imagination or He might see fit to take away everything I've gained, but today I celebrate the plot of ground on which I stand. God has been very good to me.
The path He has led me on has not always been forward. Many times I saw the land and was ready to take it, and God told me to go backwards. Sometimes to pick up someone I'd left behind. Sometimes because my heart wasn't ready. And sometimes I had no idea why He wouldn't let me move ahead. But always He has put me right where I needed to be.
So if you're trying to pick a destination, my advice is to take the ticket God gives you and get on the bus. Who knows where you might end up.
Randy

great weekend

Had a little team Africa get together on Saturday - fun to have them all together again.  Yesterday, though, was a great day.  I wish Randy was writing about it because he said it was one of the best days of his life!  He got to preach at Pleasant Mount Gilead, the church right behind our house here in Como.  The youth pastor there, Larry Mouton, went on the Uganda trip and wanted RB to preach.  His mom and I agreed afterwards that we REALLY should have videoed him.  He was SO fired up and the Holy Spirit was clearly bursting from his heart as he preached about Jesus!!  And the church was SO welcoming and honoring of all of us (a lot of the Africa team was there).  Randy's parents were there and his mom just kept saying that she loved every  minute of it!  I'm embarrassed (I mean, really) to confess that that was the first time we have attended church in Como.  It was just a cool experience.  There are lots of unwritten "rules" that we had to figure out as we went!  LOL!  The ushers, when to sit and when to stand, the appropriate time to put your money in the offering plate, Randy even had a routine to follow after the sermon for shaking everyone's hand!  We loved the worship (could've listened to that for hours) and everyone made us feel at home.  And I just love the older ladies' hats!!  Our neighbor, Ms. Murray, was there and she had on the best hat I've ever seen her wear.  SOOO much more to write about SOOOO many things - it's been a REALLY stressful couple of weeks - BUT sleep is a pretty big priority (which I've been neglecting), so I'll post a couple of pics and go to bed! 

My Mighty Man bringing the Word!!

Pastor Larry Mouton, RB, and Reverend Sanders (we really like them - R. Sanders has been preaching there for 44 1/2 years!!)

Our 86-year-old neighbor, Ms. Murray, and her WONDERFUL hat!

RB telling everyone goodbye after the service

Moriah took this pic of Isaac and her proud Grandma!  So glad she and Dale could be there to encourage Randy!

Jordan, Josiah, and Deontay

These guys are standing at Restoration Gateway with the Nile River behind them.  They were tempted to swim, but stories of crocodiles eating people dissuaded them. 

A giraffe haiku

Fort Worth's Mighty Men

Meet giraffes in Africa,

Now the world is changed

Photo by Larinda Smith (a member of our mission team)

Summer

I rarely take time to download pics, but I finally did and here are some misc ones from June (minus the Africa trip).  Most are from the moms' lake house trip while the guys were in Africa or from the past week.  My kids are quite entertaining!!

Lily and McKenna

Again, this is what happens with no TV?!

Brings new meaning to the term "mud bath"!

misc pics from our summer so far

Charlotte and maybe a couple of kids are missing, but this gives you an idea of what it was like at the lake house with 3 moms and 12 kids!!

Grandma comforting my little sick guy (you know, hand/foot/mouth).  
Elliott Connally and Luke at the lake!
McKenna, Lily Connally, and Eden Guild swimming at the lake.