and then there's his wife...

I loved RB's blog about Op Camp - and the cool thing is that those really are the reasons he went to Op Camp and loved it.  I don't think he explained very well that he and I both began going to Op Camp as counselors when we were around 16 years old in California.  The one in West Texas began when I was a senior in high school and then the Como Op Camp just celebrated its third year.  Pretty amazing - and yes, we're getting OLD!  :)  But here's what made me laugh about his whole sweetly spiritual commentary on his experience - I do not remember one kid that I encountered at Op Camp.  I remember being very intimidated by the kids and often wishing I didn't have to deal with any of their needy issues.  MY favorite part of camp was Randy Brown (or whatever boy I happened to be dating at the time - usually him) and I could tell you lots of memories about that hunk of a high school boy!  I'm not sure where all of our supervision was in California, but we spent at least one night out under the stars with a few other friends all night and never got in trouble.  Now let me defend his honor - this was also the camp in which he told me that he had decided not to kiss me until we got married (he's always been quite the visionary, even at 16).  So he gave me a Hershey's kiss (which I kept for years until it was eaten by a worm) and our sleeping under the stars was kept perfectly innocent.  We wrote numerous love letters to each other during the week (which I still have) and as long as I knew I'd be seeing him OFTEN during the week, then Op Camp was absolutely wonderful!  :):)  So there you have it.  My self-absorbed little high school self was pretty unconcerned with the inner-city poor children of Oakland.  I went for the boyfriend.  But isn't it cool how God uses us in all our messed-upness (yes, I realize I just invented that word) to accomplish His purposes and give Himself glory?  Isn't it cool that some of our first experiences together were with the poor?  I love the stories God writes!  And by the way, in case you're not familiar with the rest of that story, Randy and I dated until my junior year/his senior year in high school and then he dumped me (he was quite the football jock - go "Killer!").  He still had not kissed me and some other football teammate later stole my man's first kiss - sigh.  I thought we were done forever, but God brought us back together my sophomore/his junior year in college.  I was the first and the only woman he has ever kissed!  I love my man.  And I love our life together.

Op Camp

I just came home from Opportunity Camp today.  I was the camp doctor, but only in title.  The truth is I delegated all the nursing duties, and most all the duties were nursing duties.  I really like my role at camp, it's sort of a father-figure role.  This year I didn't feel like I worked very hard.  I found myself remembering my days as a counselor back in high school.  I was a little jealous of the counselors at camp this year.  My job was much easier than theirs.  I didn't have to sleep in a cabin that smelled like stinky socks, or chase kids across the campground trying to keep them in Songfest, or moderate any number of endless skirmishes between unruly children.  I got to stay up as late as I wanted and talk to whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  

But at the end of camp, I didn't get to feel what the counselors felt--that sense that I they had just given every ounce of their strength to a bunch of kids, most of whom will never express any thankfulness.  

Loving the poor is a sacrament.  In loving the poor we actually experience Jesus in a physical way, just like communion or baptism or marriage.  When I think about why I want to love the poor, it's mostly because I want to know Jesus better.  It's like an addiction.  I got my first fix at Op Camp when I was in 9th grade wrestling to get an 8 year old camper from Oakland, California to go to bed and stop spitting on me.  I hated it, but I felt the deepest joy I had ever known.  I was really loving someone.  For the first time in my life I was loving without any expectation of love in return.  Not at first, of course.  I went to the camp the camp with noble plans to "train the poor little kids to be like me."  That week broke something in me: my expectation that people were supposed to love me back, and my sense of entitlement that said that I had a right to expect people to change in response to my efforts.  That was the part where I saw Jesus.  That's how he lived his whole life.  He didn't love to be loved.  He loved because he IS love.  And I'm no better than that 8 year old who never said thank you.

So if you want to see Jesus more clearly; if you want to see your heart changed to be more like His, find the most broken person you can find and give yourself to them unconditionally.  Not for a few hours, but for as long as it takes.  You will hate it.  It will offend you and confuse you and anger you.  You may get hurt physically.  You will be hurt emotionally.  And you will know Jesus more deeply than you have before.  It's like communion, but instead of just remembering the cross you get to taste a bit of its pain.

So I plan to go back to Opportunity Camp next year, and I suspect God wants me to be a camp doctor and mentor, but if I could choose anywhere to be, I'd be in the cabin with some bratty 8 year old and his stinky socks.

just one more thing...

I just have one more thing to write about my husband.  He was worried that he was "tooting his own horn" in his post from earlier today.  I hope no one interpreted it that way because that was definitely not how it was intended.  It truly is AMAZING to see how the power of God transforms people and works supernaturally in them to do what they could never do on their own - that is what has happened to him!  It's beautiful.  But what I just have to say is that I was sitting there on that pew on Sunday listening to him preach and I thought I was going to burst I was so in love with him.  I just sat there feeling sorry for anyone who wasn't married to my man!  ;0  God truly has done amazing things in our marriage!!  May He get ALL the glory!!

more thoughts on the beauty of motherhood

My friend, Rebekah, posted this quote on her blog and I really liked it.  Encouraging to me at the end of the day when I feel like I've answered a million and one questions and dealt with 2001 quarrels about NOTHING!! (I'm pretty confident that we exceeded the 30 opportunities for conflict today, but we should be down to six ops for a few days now - my 3 older kids are gone!  LOL!).  

The Flourishing Mother added in a good quote about this a while ago:
"The exponential nature of conflict in big families:
If you have two children, there are two possibilities for conflict (two times one)
Three children – six possibilities for conflict (three times two)
Four children – twelve opportunities for conflict (four times three)
Five children – TWENTY opportunities for conflict (five times four)
Six children – THIRTY opportunities for conflict (six times five)
Ay, yi, yi.
But I thought to myself: Andrea, that's silly. Remember that famous quote... from Stepping Heavenward?
A friend says to Katy (the character):
"You shall now have one more mouth to fill and two more feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing."
Her response?
"Well! That is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly servant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ’s name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!"
Despite the conflicts, the sorrow, the worry, the time lost for other "things", there is another side of it that must balance it out: the Joy. "

I really do find myself grieving sometimes because I want to be doing some things that I just flat out don't have time for.  I long to figure out more things about my camera and take the pictures that I see in my head all the time - to somehow capture the beauty and glory of God on film.  But at the end of the day, I don't want to think (and have very little capacity for it) anymore, so I sit around piddling my time away on the computer and giving little Piper Joy more late night snackies, usually dairy if you know what I mean!  :)   There are books I haven't read, movies I want to watch, people I want to have long conversations with, and mornings that I want to sleep in until the ridiculous hour of 8 a.m.!  But these things get to wait for now (and for who knows how much longer).  I love how God keeps reminding me that He pours out His life and His grace by the minute and He is giving me the life that WILL produce the most joy!  I was visiting with a friend the other night and she quoted this really old man who was glowing with the joy of Christ that she had just recently met.  He said that "Living is giving.  When you stop giving you become like the Dead Sea."  This seems like a no-brainer, but it has returned to my mind several times this week.  I like glowing-with-the-glory-of-Christ old people - they remind me that doing what I want to do when I want to do it is not the road to contentment and joy.  Good to remember on these days when I feel like I can't give one more iota of myself.  God is incomprehensibly good.  

I rented a couple of movies to watch tonight since my hubby is gone, but there is a HUGE list of things that I think I should be doing due to the fact that my youngest 3 are actually in bed at this hour.  We have recently entered into the new and unchartered world (for us, anyway) of adolescence and I'm finding that what little time I used to have during the evening alone with my spouse is quickly dwindling away as we find ourselves involved in more late night conversations (some pleasant and some not-so-much) with our eldest.  I wouldn't trade them for the world - really.  Just amazing how those new seasons of parenthood sneak up on you, especially with the firstborn!  Poor McKenna gets the best of the rookie parents every time!!  And so it will be until the day we die!  :)  She is a beautiful gift from God and I can't wait to see how she blossoms during this new season of her life.  Maybe I'll get crazy and take some pics tomorrow; post them on the blog for everyone to see....  

great little word from Francis Chan

Okay, one of my favorite pastors right now is Francis Chan - here is a 4 minute little blurb about "playing it safe".  So good.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ

How did I get here?

As I think about the events of the past few weeks, I am moved to reflect on the journey God has brought me on. Being at Pleasant Mount Gilead Church on Sunday was so much fun. In only the third time in my life that I have preached at a Sunday morning church service, I found myself in an African-American church in Como surrounded by people who were willing to listen to what I had to say, and accompanied by a group who had just followed me to Africa and back. If you know me, you are amazed at what God has done with me.
I am not a natural leader. In childhood I was painfully shy. We had a program to train elementary aged boys to lead parts of a church service. I hyperventilated when I had to read a scripture in front of people. The first time a led a prayer at church on a Sunday evening, I made the dreaded, "PRease pLay with me" slip up. In high school the youth minister twisted my arm to give a 15 minute devotional talk at his home, and I literally cried through the whole thing.
So how did I get here? Natural ability is not the right answer. My own righteousness certainly didn't get me here. Hard work and training is also not how it happened.
God brought me here in His time and in His way. I recently heard someone say that God doesn't give us the ticket we need until it's time to get on the bus. Well, apparently God's bus was ready to take me to a pulpit. I've learned enough to know that I want to stay on His bus, even if it's going to a scary place. And the great thing is that I didn't just endure the experience of preaching, I actually enjoyed it. I felt the pleasure of God in doing it. I still don't have any aspirations to be a preacher, or even to do regular public speaking, but I am enjoying the ride.

So how does an Anglo doctor who never had a real friend from the African-American community until about 6 years ago find himself in a life like this? One little step at a time. One closing prayer at church. One miserably awkward devotional. One morning after another of listening to God and doing what he says. One failure after another, until somehow, in spite of my ignorance and chronic rebellion, I look up and see that He has brought me into the Promised Land.
This might not look like the Promised Land from the outside. I haven't met many people who want to trade homes with us, but I love the life God has given us. I have the most beautiful wife in the world, and she has been transformed just like I have. Sunday I met with a couple who had been married for just a year. As we talked about their struggles I told stories of what our marriage was like 15 years ago. It is good to remember the days that I dreaded seeing my wife, and the long, long nights we struggled through. Our life is not perfect by any means, but our marriage is a delight to me. Our children, (with all their issues which I won't expound up here on the World Wide Web,) are a joy to my heart. I am surrounded by friends who care deeply about Jesus, and who encourage me to live a radical life of obedience. I look at the Mighty Men and I see young men who look and act more like Jesus than they did when I met them. I am part of an adventure that gets me excited and keeps me dreaming, and I am seeing God work in miraculous ways.
I know that this Promised Land is just the beginning of all that God is leading me into, but today I am stopping, bending over and taking a handful of fresh soil and bringing it to my nose to breathe deeply of the ground that God has given me. He may continue to expand my boundaries beyond my wildest imagination or He might see fit to take away everything I've gained, but today I celebrate the plot of ground on which I stand. God has been very good to me.
The path He has led me on has not always been forward. Many times I saw the land and was ready to take it, and God told me to go backwards. Sometimes to pick up someone I'd left behind. Sometimes because my heart wasn't ready. And sometimes I had no idea why He wouldn't let me move ahead. But always He has put me right where I needed to be.
So if you're trying to pick a destination, my advice is to take the ticket God gives you and get on the bus. Who knows where you might end up.
Randy

great weekend

Had a little team Africa get together on Saturday - fun to have them all together again.  Yesterday, though, was a great day.  I wish Randy was writing about it because he said it was one of the best days of his life!  He got to preach at Pleasant Mount Gilead, the church right behind our house here in Como.  The youth pastor there, Larry Mouton, went on the Uganda trip and wanted RB to preach.  His mom and I agreed afterwards that we REALLY should have videoed him.  He was SO fired up and the Holy Spirit was clearly bursting from his heart as he preached about Jesus!!  And the church was SO welcoming and honoring of all of us (a lot of the Africa team was there).  Randy's parents were there and his mom just kept saying that she loved every  minute of it!  I'm embarrassed (I mean, really) to confess that that was the first time we have attended church in Como.  It was just a cool experience.  There are lots of unwritten "rules" that we had to figure out as we went!  LOL!  The ushers, when to sit and when to stand, the appropriate time to put your money in the offering plate, Randy even had a routine to follow after the sermon for shaking everyone's hand!  We loved the worship (could've listened to that for hours) and everyone made us feel at home.  And I just love the older ladies' hats!!  Our neighbor, Ms. Murray, was there and she had on the best hat I've ever seen her wear.  SOOO much more to write about SOOOO many things - it's been a REALLY stressful couple of weeks - BUT sleep is a pretty big priority (which I've been neglecting), so I'll post a couple of pics and go to bed! 

My Mighty Man bringing the Word!!

Pastor Larry Mouton, RB, and Reverend Sanders (we really like them - R. Sanders has been preaching there for 44 1/2 years!!)

Our 86-year-old neighbor, Ms. Murray, and her WONDERFUL hat!

RB telling everyone goodbye after the service

Moriah took this pic of Isaac and her proud Grandma!  So glad she and Dale could be there to encourage Randy!

Jordan, Josiah, and Deontay

These guys are standing at Restoration Gateway with the Nile River behind them.  They were tempted to swim, but stories of crocodiles eating people dissuaded them. 

A giraffe haiku

Fort Worth's Mighty Men

Meet giraffes in Africa,

Now the world is changed

Photo by Larinda Smith (a member of our mission team)

Summer

I rarely take time to download pics, but I finally did and here are some misc ones from June (minus the Africa trip).  Most are from the moms' lake house trip while the guys were in Africa or from the past week.  My kids are quite entertaining!!

Lily and McKenna

Again, this is what happens with no TV?!

Brings new meaning to the term "mud bath"!

misc pics from our summer so far

Charlotte and maybe a couple of kids are missing, but this gives you an idea of what it was like at the lake house with 3 moms and 12 kids!!

Grandma comforting my little sick guy (you know, hand/foot/mouth).  
Elliott Connally and Luke at the lake!
McKenna, Lily Connally, and Eden Guild swimming at the lake.

Malachi

This poor baby got bitten by a mosquito a couple of days ago.  Check out his left ear.  We called him Dumbo yesterday (he's better today)!

Hand-foot-mouth disease can just be too much for a little guy to handle (at the lake a few weeks ago).

favorites of Isaac William - so dignified...

BEFORE the haircut...

AFTER the haircut...is he not just adorable??

some favorites of Moriah

This is what happens when you unplug the TV and tell your kids it's off-limits for the week!  :)

McKenna actually took these - she's one of my little blossoming photographers!

week of change (and it's only Monday!)

        Lots of new things going on around here!  A little overwhelming, but really good and really led by the Lord!  The Connallys are here and working on their house, which we're all hoping will be finished by the weekend?!  It is SO cute and if you saw it BEFORE, you'd be super impressed with the AFTER!  We're so blessed to have them here and are ready for them to be settled!  This has been an intense ride for them so far!!  

       Here's a good one.  Actually, Randy said not to tell his friends, so if you're his friend (esp. a medical buddy), you might want to skip this part!  ha!  I went to visit with a midwife today!  I really didn't like some things that happened with my last birth and so I decided to check out the midwife-at-the-hospital scenario!  I went to Harris Downtown and LOVED the woman that I talked with.  I actually transferred my records over before I even left.  It really is the best of both worlds.  I have so much freedom (freedom to have or not have drugs, walking around during labor, having my baby with me the whole time, having whoever I want in the room, having someone there throughout the whole process, and having medical care by an ob/gyn available right there if needed)!  And as I walked out, the nurse and the midwife said "See ya later, Anda!"  This may sound silly, but someone acknowledging that you're a real person is HUGE!  I've been going to my other doctor for 2 years now (and I really do like her) and her staff still couldn't tell you my name and I've never felt like anyone was really taking care of me.  It really wasn't that I had any problems with my doctor; it was more the system in which she is confined.  Also, this hospital is actually closer and more accessible than the other one.  ANYWAY - I'm really excited now about the birth of this baby!  I've been thinking/praying about this for months and finally got up the guts to go talk to them - so glad I did!  

And if that wasn't weird enough, the other thing that has been weighing heavily on Randy's and my heart was McKenna's schooling next year.  Back in March or April, we started questioning where she should be next year and after a lot of prayer and waiting on God, we finally feel great peace about her homeschooling next year.  It will be with some dear friends of ours and actually Randy will be teaching MK and another friend one day a week (they'll also be going to a school with "courses" for one day and doing a couple more classes with my friend).  I'll be around to facilitate working, etc., but won't really be doing any formal teaching because I'm having a baby in November.  It may just be for a year, but we can tell that it's God.  This feeling of insecurity, but excitement is a very familiar one.  Just can tell it's the Holy Spirit.  And MK is actually excited about it (she wouldn't even discuss it a month ago).  Can't wait to see what God is going to do in her during this next year!  And I'm really excited to have this sweet time with my oldest!

      That's it for now - tired and need my bed!  Lots to process today!!  I'm so glad that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever!!

         

A few pictures

Here are a few pictures.

Doesn't this group just look beautiful. God knew what He was doing when He put this team together. It was the best mission team I've ever been part of. Only God would put together such a diverse and unlikely group and expect us to change the world.
This is us in front of Murchison Falls. We hiked from this spot to above the waterfall you see in the background.










One of the things that truly confuses me is the joy I saw in people. I was tempted to think that people were just acting happy because they wanted something out of us, but it was too widespread to be an act, and they weren't asking for anything. I expected to Christians to be joyful, but it wasn't limited just to Christians. The Ugandan people (at least in the part of Uganda I saw) are the most joyful culture I've ever met. We didn't go to Gulu, and I expect we might have seen a different attitude there, but even the people I met who had been through terrible trauma and tragedy had a joy that was striking.

This was one of the paths we walked to get to the nearby villages. This little creek smelled bad, and ruined our shoes forever, but we sure had fun sharing the gospel when we got there.

This was the day we went to "feed the orphans." We ended up surrounded by about 1000 kids who expected us to do some sort of show. We had a great time playing with these kids. The thatch roof on the left is a church.

more from The Hole in Our Gospel, Richard Stearns

Is this not gorgeous?  Beautiful sunset in Uganda!

This is true - can't be ignored.  He writes the following after talking about Jesus' mission statement in Luke 4: 

"Proclaiming the whole gospel, then, means much more than evangelism in the hopes that people will hear and respond to the good news of salvation by faith in Christ.  It also encompasses tangible compassion for the sick and the poor, as well as biblical justice, efforts to right the wrongs that are so prevalent in our world.  God is concerned about the spiritual, physical, and social dimensions of our being.  This whole gospel is truly good news for the poor, and it is the foundation for a social revolution that has the power to change the world.  And if this was Jesus' mission, it is also the mission of all who claim to follow Him.  It is my mission, it is your mission, and it is the mission of the Church." (p.22)

Had heard this before, but couldn't remember who did this experiment.  Jim Wallis and some of his seminary buddies did it years ago:

"They went through all 66 books of the Bible and underlined every passage and verse that dealt with poverty, wealth, justice, and oppression.  Then one of Jim's fellow students took a pair of scissors and physically cut every one of those verses out of the Bible.  The result was a volume in tatters that barely held together.  Beginning with the Mosiac books, through the books of history, the Psalms and Proverbs, and the Major and Minor Prophets, to the four Gospels, the book of Acts, the Epistles and into Revelation, so central were these themes to Scripture that the resulting Bible was in shambles.  (According to The Poverty and Justice Bible, there are almost two thousand verses in Scripture that deal with poverty and justice.)  When Jim would speak on these issues, he would hold his ragged book in the air and proclaim, 'Brothers and sisters, this is our American Bible; it is full of holes.  Each one of us might as well take our Bibles, a pair of scissors, and begin cutting out all the scriptures we pay no attention to, all the biblical texts that we just ignore.'  Jim's Bible was literally full of holes." (p.24)

One of my sisters-in-law is reading this book also right now and as we talked about it on Sunday, I began to realize that God is waking us up - the American church will either continue to make itself feel better by writing a check here and there to send to some "good effort" or we will wake up to the fact that this was never what Jesus meant.  Not once do I see Him giving money to the poor as a means of loving them.  I'm not saying that this is not sometimes what is needed and what is sometimes the most loving, but in general, that isn't what He has called us to.  Even Randy said after returning from Africa that they don't really need our money, they need us.  Life on life, people loving people.  It's all Jesus did and it's what He longs to do through us, the Church.  BUT IT'S HARD!!  How much easier it is to throw some money to them and say that we've done all we can do.  It is SO hard to engage with and touch people and actually deal with the fact that there is so much suffering in the world - here and abroad.  God have mercy on us!

I'm awake

OK.  It's 6:30 am, and I've been up since 5.  I feel awake and ready to blog.  I won't comment on Anda's recent blogs, because she has pretty well covered that part of our life.

I do want to say thank you to all of you who have prayed for the Mighty Men over the past few weeks.  I remember a time in my life when I had a crisis of faith, because I didn't understand prayer.  I couldn't understand how God could be in control of everything and still respond to our prayers.  I still don't understand, but I don't have any doubts that He changes things in response to our prayers.  This trip was amazingly easy.  I cannot describe the feeling I felt throughout this trip.  I just felt the prayers being prayed.  Every day I sensed the peace of God, and the blessing of God.  Every day I just knew He was going to lead us, and He did.

That's not to say we didn't have any problems.  I have a video (which will never be shared publicly) of one of the boys in a major temper-tantrum because we asked him to pull his shorts up to his waist.  But even in that, there was an amazing grace from God.

So what did God do on this trip?  I believe we will be answering that question for generations. (Really.  Generations!)  Here are a few things I know today:

1.  He took 7 Mighty Men to Uganda safely and brought them back home.

2.  He used little boys to encourage missionaries.  I can't tell you how surprised I was at how thankful the missionaries were for our team.  Our team was really unique.  The youngest of us were ten years old and the oldest on Medicare.  Many of us had never met before this trip, yet it was clear that God had hand picked this group for his purposes.  We worked together better than any team I've ever been on, and we really brought encouragement to the people we met, both missionaries and Ugandans.  We came from at least 8 different churches of various denominations.  Really the only thing we had in common was that we love Jesus.  That was enough.

3.  Jesus gave us boldness to share the gospel, and fruitfulness in our sharing.  Someone asked me how many people came to Christ on our trip.  I really couldn't answer.  The people were very receptive, and we wrote down 50 to 100 names of people who told us they wanted to be saved.  (Some of those may have already been Christians.)  But there were many whose names we didn't write down who responded, also.  It was really encouraging to see the Mighty Men talking to complete strangers about Jesus, and sharing His love from hut to hut and on the streets and paths.  When the boy who threw the fit about his shorts got home and was asked to tell one story, he said, "I got to save a lady."  Not great theology, but it was cool to hear that the thing he wanted to share the most was that he had prayed with a lady as she received Christ.

My kids woke up early and slowed me down a bit.  I'll try to share more later.

God is amazing.

Randy