I've heard that people stop reading your blog if you go too long without posting, so I'll probably have no one reading this! I don't know why I haven't felt like writing lately - maybe it's that thing that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all? I confess that I've had more encouraging seasons of life - sort of in survival mode right now. This pregnancy has been a whip so far - really tired and really gaggy and nauseous most of the day. But if I complain (which, don't get me wrong, I do often), I can just hear people thinking "Well, didn't they decide to throw birth control away? They got themselves into this!" People probably aren't thinking that, but when you're hormonal you think all sorts of ridiculous things. I remember Beth Moore teaching about God's will one time and that we tend to think that if it's in the will of God then it will be easy. That's a lie. God never said that. So while I'm 100% confident that God has called us to have a large family, etc., I must also acknowledge that it's HARD! One of my good friends was recently telling me that she realized one day that she didn't have to make a choice about whether she viewed her kids as a "blessing" or a "burden." The truth is that they are both! This is SO true! They are a tremendous blessing and they are a burden (in a good, weighty sort of way) that we will carry until the day we die. That's why I feel out of breath so often. The nice thing about this trying season is that I find myself desperate for God once again. I simply cannot do this. I cannot be everything my children need. I am a mess. Prayer and Jesus are their only hope!! Maybe when I'm 80 I'll feel like I've "got it all together"...no, probably not. I'll just have 50 grandkids running around my house then!!
Isaac just yelled that Malachi is once again playing in the toilet. Sigh. I'll write more about that guy later - he might just do me in!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Question
Does anyone have any suggestions on what the appropriate discipline should be for feeding your 3 year old brother your boogers?
Thanks,
Randy
Thanks,
Randy
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
what was I THINKING?!
So Randy is at a CCS board meeting tonight and usually doesn't make it home until 11:30 p.m. or so. Moriah is still on medication for strep, Luke is right in the middle of it and feeling crummy, and Malachi is on day 10 or something of a horrific cold which has made his poor nose raw and all of our clothes rather "slimy" (sorry, that was gross - but it's true). I'm sleep-deprived (Malachi), nauseous, and I have now caught my sweet baby's cold. Last night I was with my friend, Candice, who recommended this movie "the boy in the striped pajamas." I will agree that it is a great movie. And since McKenna is currently studying WWII, the Holocaust, etc. in school, I thought I would preview this movie tonight to see if she could handle it. NO!! Oh my word!! It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sad (Candice did warn me of this)! It's based on the perspective of a Nazi boy and it is very well-done. But I was BAWLING at the end. I cannot handle anything now that I'm a momma. Ugh! This was NOT the best way to end my sicky day! LOL! Anyway, if you're into historical sadness, I do recommend this movie. I've got to go pray or something before hubby gets home. At least maybe I can be smiling with my puffy eyes.
By the way, isn't my hubby a terrific writer? I love the way he expresses himself. What's up with that? I'm the English major and I can hardly compose a complete sentence!
By the way, isn't my hubby a terrific writer? I love the way he expresses himself. What's up with that? I'm the English major and I can hardly compose a complete sentence!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Somebody Has to Start Dancing
I have this picture of revival in my head.
I saw it at Opportunity Camp this summer. Someone started playing a song called "Cupid Shuffle." I had never heard it before. Apparently I was the only one. Almost as soon as the song started, someone started dancing. It wasn't long before others began to join in. Soon there was a whole room full of people-- black, white, young, old, coordinated and not-so-coordinated-- all moving in unison to the same song. It seemed that everyone knew exactly what to do. Everyone was smiling and laughing as the whole room stepped in the same directions together. No tripping, no falling, no fighting.
That's what I expect revival to look like when it comes to Como.
I saw a video of a similar situation in a train station in Germany. First a father and daughter started dancing, and before long a whole station full of strangers was dancing together. I tend to be the last one to join a dance. In fact, when I join, the other people normally begin laughing so hard that the dance quickly degrades into a guffawing mob of hecklers. But let's stop talking about my dancing skills (which I will forever attribute to my strict upbringing and not a lack of physical aptitude on my part), and let's get back to the original analogy.
Somebody has to start dancing. It's a risk to stand in the middle of a room of strangers and dance. (I've only done it one or 2 occasions, and the above description of the heckling mob stems from those experiences.) But for revival to happen, whether among a small group or a nation, there must be a core of dancers who lead the way. They inspire others to join, and as they move in unison together in response to the song of God they actually teach others the dance. Revival won't happen primarily through teaching. It will happen as disciples disciple others in the ways of God, by responding to his voice in obedience. That is the beauty of the line dance of God. The world will be able to look at us and see what to do, then just jump in and dance with us. Sure they will make mistakes as they learn, but instead of whacking their hand with a ruler we can just laugh together in the grace of God and take the next step together.
I bless you to start dancing to the music of your King. May your brothers and sisters join with you, and may you together penetrate the barren stillness around you.
I saw it at Opportunity Camp this summer. Someone started playing a song called "Cupid Shuffle." I had never heard it before. Apparently I was the only one. Almost as soon as the song started, someone started dancing. It wasn't long before others began to join in. Soon there was a whole room full of people-- black, white, young, old, coordinated and not-so-coordinated-- all moving in unison to the same song. It seemed that everyone knew exactly what to do. Everyone was smiling and laughing as the whole room stepped in the same directions together. No tripping, no falling, no fighting.
That's what I expect revival to look like when it comes to Como.
I saw a video of a similar situation in a train station in Germany. First a father and daughter started dancing, and before long a whole station full of strangers was dancing together. I tend to be the last one to join a dance. In fact, when I join, the other people normally begin laughing so hard that the dance quickly degrades into a guffawing mob of hecklers. But let's stop talking about my dancing skills (which I will forever attribute to my strict upbringing and not a lack of physical aptitude on my part), and let's get back to the original analogy.
Somebody has to start dancing. It's a risk to stand in the middle of a room of strangers and dance. (I've only done it one or 2 occasions, and the above description of the heckling mob stems from those experiences.) But for revival to happen, whether among a small group or a nation, there must be a core of dancers who lead the way. They inspire others to join, and as they move in unison together in response to the song of God they actually teach others the dance. Revival won't happen primarily through teaching. It will happen as disciples disciple others in the ways of God, by responding to his voice in obedience. That is the beauty of the line dance of God. The world will be able to look at us and see what to do, then just jump in and dance with us. Sure they will make mistakes as they learn, but instead of whacking their hand with a ruler we can just laugh together in the grace of God and take the next step together.
I bless you to start dancing to the music of your King. May your brothers and sisters join with you, and may you together penetrate the barren stillness around you.
Friday, April 3, 2009
our baby
By the way, for any of you who were getting excited with our children for twins, I have to inform you that I saw our little one and it IS just ONE! I must confess that this is a relief, although I would have been excited about twins too. Everything looks great! There's just nothing like seeing and hearing that little heartbeat for the first time!
news from the SLUG
I am a slug. ugh. Even moving my fingers to type requires almost more energy than I am capable of producing at the moment. Am I just old or what? I definitely don't remember feeling this sick and tired with my other pregnancies, but maybe that's a memory problem and not reality. I think I'm going to start praying for the perfect "nanny" to show up. I mean, shouldn't people like Alice on the Brady Bunch be the norm and not the exception? I would LOVE an Alice right now. One of Randy's nurses made us dinner last p.m. and I thought I was going to explode I was so thankful. I'm going to the doctor for my first visit in about an hour. I get to see this little bean today - this will make the fatigue a little more tolerable! :)
So I realize that I never gave my version of the camping saga. Here it is. Luke woke up at 5:30 that morning with fever and a sore throat. Immediately I thought what a terrible mother I would be if I took my sick son to sleep in the cold on the ground for the next three nights, but after praying, I really had peace that we were supposed to go anyway. Randy thought it was strep and we figured that with antibiotics he would be better quickly anyway. We actually left town in good spirits and we weren't even mad at each other. We were very proud of ourselves for this - perhaps we should've boasted more in the Lord. Our pride went before a great fall. Sure we stopped about 5-6 times on our way to Arkansas, but we still managed to maintain our joy until we reached the campground. I suppose I could blame what happened next on hormones. I'm not sure what happened, but I just lost it. The campsite was NOT kid-friendly. There were several little retaining walls built because it was steep and led down to the lake's edge. All I'm seeing is my 14-month-old rolling down the rocky slope into the water. As soon as we got out of the car, we were all covered in these tiny black gnats. And it was definitely feeling like we were in Egypt - I started crying out to the Lord!! :) It just suddenly hit me what we had done. We had about one hour to completely set up our "houses" and make/clean up dinner before it started getting dark. The amount of effort overwhelmed me and I wanted to go home. Did I mention that our campsite was at the end, meaning that we were as far away from the bathrooms as we could possibly be? Anyway, after dinner Malachi fell through one of the little "retaining fences", falling about 2-3 feet on the rocky ground. I couldn't talk to anyone. In fact, I hardly spoke a word the rest of the night. When the kids were in bed and Randy and I were sitting by the campfire, there were no romantic gestures or conversations. I coudn't talk to him. I was too mad. So I proceeded to cry uncontrollably for several minutes while he sat there helpless. What was this man supposed to do with a tired, hormonal, pregnant momma of six? We just went to bed. I didn't sleep most of the night, hearing lots of sounds, worrying about Luke (who was in a different tent), and wondering if I was brave enough to walk down to the bathroom alone in the middle of the night (I wasn't - I used a red solo cup hiding behind our Suburban. You get pretty good at this sort of thing after six pregnancies...). Anyway, as I lay awake that night I really pondered whether or not it was possible in Jesus to have a different attitude. I decided that it was and awoke determined the next day. I was really very nice. In fact I even smiled a lot and talked in a pleasant tone all day. I was pretty proud of myself (Randy just thought I was faking it and so I guess he wasn't that impressed). We went on a little hike and had a pretty peaceful day - until the rain. I think Randy described the rest pretty well. The funny thing is that I didn't even really think about leaving until my spouse started scaring me. I didn't want to spend the night in a wet tent in 40 degree weather. We left. And I was mad all over again. I mean, if we had never attempted this, then my children wouldn't have been wailing. Sigh. It was undoubtedly a catch-22. We grieved for the whole day on Friday. It was one of the saddest vacations (okay -the saddest) we've ever taken. BUT, we're all okay now. I think. I guess we won't know about some of them until it comes out in counseling someday....
Is he not just a beautiful little boy?
Isaac spent much of his time looking like this - it's tough being three.
Luke took about 5000 pictures of the ducks.
Here we are! Our happy family - did I mention that Randy made us all wear matching flourescent yellow t-shirts on our travel day?! THAT brought us some attention, as if we needed any help with that.
So I realize that I never gave my version of the camping saga. Here it is. Luke woke up at 5:30 that morning with fever and a sore throat. Immediately I thought what a terrible mother I would be if I took my sick son to sleep in the cold on the ground for the next three nights, but after praying, I really had peace that we were supposed to go anyway. Randy thought it was strep and we figured that with antibiotics he would be better quickly anyway. We actually left town in good spirits and we weren't even mad at each other. We were very proud of ourselves for this - perhaps we should've boasted more in the Lord. Our pride went before a great fall. Sure we stopped about 5-6 times on our way to Arkansas, but we still managed to maintain our joy until we reached the campground. I suppose I could blame what happened next on hormones. I'm not sure what happened, but I just lost it. The campsite was NOT kid-friendly. There were several little retaining walls built because it was steep and led down to the lake's edge. All I'm seeing is my 14-month-old rolling down the rocky slope into the water. As soon as we got out of the car, we were all covered in these tiny black gnats. And it was definitely feeling like we were in Egypt - I started crying out to the Lord!! :) It just suddenly hit me what we had done. We had about one hour to completely set up our "houses" and make/clean up dinner before it started getting dark. The amount of effort overwhelmed me and I wanted to go home. Did I mention that our campsite was at the end, meaning that we were as far away from the bathrooms as we could possibly be? Anyway, after dinner Malachi fell through one of the little "retaining fences", falling about 2-3 feet on the rocky ground. I couldn't talk to anyone. In fact, I hardly spoke a word the rest of the night. When the kids were in bed and Randy and I were sitting by the campfire, there were no romantic gestures or conversations. I coudn't talk to him. I was too mad. So I proceeded to cry uncontrollably for several minutes while he sat there helpless. What was this man supposed to do with a tired, hormonal, pregnant momma of six? We just went to bed. I didn't sleep most of the night, hearing lots of sounds, worrying about Luke (who was in a different tent), and wondering if I was brave enough to walk down to the bathroom alone in the middle of the night (I wasn't - I used a red solo cup hiding behind our Suburban. You get pretty good at this sort of thing after six pregnancies...). Anyway, as I lay awake that night I really pondered whether or not it was possible in Jesus to have a different attitude. I decided that it was and awoke determined the next day. I was really very nice. In fact I even smiled a lot and talked in a pleasant tone all day. I was pretty proud of myself (Randy just thought I was faking it and so I guess he wasn't that impressed). We went on a little hike and had a pretty peaceful day - until the rain. I think Randy described the rest pretty well. The funny thing is that I didn't even really think about leaving until my spouse started scaring me. I didn't want to spend the night in a wet tent in 40 degree weather. We left. And I was mad all over again. I mean, if we had never attempted this, then my children wouldn't have been wailing. Sigh. It was undoubtedly a catch-22. We grieved for the whole day on Friday. It was one of the saddest vacations (okay -the saddest) we've ever taken. BUT, we're all okay now. I think. I guess we won't know about some of them until it comes out in counseling someday....
Is he not just a beautiful little boy?
Isaac spent much of his time looking like this - it's tough being three.
Luke took about 5000 pictures of the ducks.
Here we are! Our happy family - did I mention that Randy made us all wear matching flourescent yellow t-shirts on our travel day?! THAT brought us some attention, as if we needed any help with that.
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