15 years with this MAN!

Randy's 16th birthday. He got to take me on a date in his old pick-up truck, "Bessie", and we had a romantic picnic in the park before we went back to his house where a surprise party was awaiting him! I am LOVING the hair! Luke asked me why Dad's hair was so sweaty - I told him that was just all the mousse he put in it to look cool! :) I really had no explanation for mine! LOL!

A few weeks before we got married - we're at a club social.

I thought my sisters-in-law would appreciate this one! LOL! That tiny little girl is my sweet niece, Bailey, who is now a Sophomore in COLLEGE!! Lee Ann is pregnant with Connor in this pic (I think).

What a wedding! 500 guests and LOTS of pictures! It seems like AGES ago!

I wanted to say one thing to our parents. RB and I were recently talking about what a blessing it is that our parents taught us that you just don't even talk about divorce. I can honestly say that I never even considered it a possibility that my parents would divorce and Randy had the same experience. This has provided a rare and unusual security that I think we take for granted. In all our crud, we've never even mentioned or thought about divorce (maybe death, but not divorce! LOL). Thanks Mom, Dad, Dale and Rita. You continue to give us an indescribable gift!

What I LOVE about Randy Brown:

WARNING: This is going to be one of those really obnoxious posts about how wonderful my spouse is! To dispel the myth (which one of his buddies contends is true) that he is perfect, I will just say that he is NOT! He is a rotten sinner just like the rest of us and in GREAT need of the grace of Jesus! I used to think he was perfect and that actually was a bit unhealthy.... Anyway! Here are some of the things I love about him! He is my best friend and has been for a long time - 20 years, actually. I guess we had a few years apart in there, but he knows me really well. There's a lot of security in that. I love that he loves Jesus. I know that in every decision and in every thing he does, he is seeking Him. Therefore, I trust him. He has the gift of wisdom and walks in humility. He is gentle and yet direct with people - so good at speaking the truth in love. He is incredibly patient and has been especially patient with me. He married a very insecure and immature GIRL! I laugh a lot and ask him what in the WORLD he was thinking!! But his prayers and his stubborn words of life and his toughness with me have changed who I am. I can't imagine who I would have been or where I would have been if I hadn't married him - God is SO merciful and GOOD! One thing I've been extremely grateful for lately is his purity. I cried recently as I thanked him for battling to keep his mind and heart sexually pure for me. The depth of his integrity in this area is becoming more and more astounding to me as I realize what a RARE gift this is that he is giving me. He's been this way for as long as I've known him (age 15) and this part of him has not changed. I love that God uses him to lead many people. If you had asked him when he was 20 years old if God would have used him as a leader, I think he would have said no. He was introverted and insecure in so many ways and the Lord has changed all that. His confidence in leading our family (even when he may be a little "off" :)) gives me an incredible sense of security. I'm so grateful that I don't have to push him to lead. Our friends call him a "stubborn old fool". This so describes him. He stubbornly refuses to let anyone destroy his vision for the impossible. And he is resolute in his faith. Being a person who will quit at the drop of a hat, I deeply admire this quality in him (and he's starting to rub off on me!). I love that God is teaching us to laugh together more right now. After some pretty rough several months (years, for that matter) in our marriage, I can honestly say that our marriage is better now than it's ever been. I wouldn't want to be married to anyone else! Other things I love: his sense of humor, his poetry, his photographic memory, his laugh, his balding head, the way he loves our kids, his parenting, our shared love of books, his good looks, his need to live simply, his heart for the poor, the way he can remember things he memorized 20+ years ago, the way he rarely panics, his optimism, his passion, his servant heart, the way he works so hard, the way he loves to sleep (and how he can sleep through anything), the way he refuses to say anything bad about people and always looks for the best, his thoughtfulness, his humility in admitting when he is wrong, the way he stuck with this marriage when many men would've left, his faith that refuses to quit....There is SO much more I could say, but you may be ready to gag at this point! I'm sorry that all the rest of you ladies missed out on the most wonderful man on the planet!!!! I'm so thankful for you, Randy Brown! I knew when I was only 15 years old that you were a treasure! I'm deeply in awe of the God who let you stick around!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! MAY THE NEXT 15 YEARS GET EVEN BETTER!!!!!

"A New Species"

The first gift I opened from my husband on Christmas a.m. was a print of a butterfly sketch by an artist that RB found on the internet. Most people don't know the significance of the chlorinda butterfly and it's very long story, but I'll summarize it by saying that a few years ago God gave me a new name. Chlorinda is the name of a rare Australian butterfly and so the butterfly in general has become a symbol of new identity in Christ. The name of this sketch is "A New Species" and my husband wrote a poem to go with it. It made me cry. I'll write more about his incredible man later today (because it's our 15th anniversary!!), but for now I'll just let you read his poetry. The artist actually read it and wants to include it with her sketch!

A New Species

There is in man a strong desire to name a thing unknown;
To wrap his mind around the infinite, and say, “My own.”
But there are creatures in this world who simply can’t be named.
No title fits. No words describe. Their spirits can’t be tamed.

N ‘er Latin nor another tongue can give my love her due;
The species which she represents is altogether new.
With rainbow sounds and colors loud she sings a song divine;
I dance in ecstasy and praise her Maker’s sweet design.

Emerging from her chrysalis she bursts with life anew,
A mystery of grace and beauty rivaled by but few,
Her glory blinds my eyes; my feeble tongue must beg for words.
Her crystal eyes, they sparkle like a million Waterfords.

I’m filled with longing to describe so beautiful a thing,
No artist’s palate can create the colors of your wing.
No orator can tell the story of your perfect form;
So delicate, yet dangerous. A living lightening storm.

Such power, cased in loveliness; anomalous and rare.
It’s my delight. Obessed. Compelled. And fixated, I stare.
Chlorinda? Yes, but even more. This species is divine.
Exquisite. Stunning. Glorious. And altogether mine.

A 15th Anniversary Haiku

Fifteen years of love.

My bride, my love, my treasure,

Still a rising sun.



Haikus have a way of distilling lots of information into very few words. I can't help but add a few words to expound upon this one. Allow me to be a bit more expressive than normal, if you will.

Yes, my beloved is just beginning her day of brilliance. The sunrise she is at present, so gentle to your eyes, is steadily rising and will soon be painfully glorious. No eye will be able to take it in, except in furtive glances. Her current state a mere hint of what's to come. Her glowing orange, reflecting pinks and blues will soon be fully exposed, bringing heat and light and a tranforming energy that affects everything around her. She is beautiful, yes, but even after 15 years of love she is like a tender shoot, whose flowers have not yet begun to bud. Take a good look at her now, enjoy her contagious goodness, knowing it is just a hint of what's to come.



I can't tell you how glad I am that God gave Anda to me as my wife. I didn't deserve her, and honestly I wasn't even smart enough to know how much I needed her. I thought I was fully self sufficient. Fifteen years of life together has taught me how wrong I was. At times I like to envision what my life would have been like if I had been able to follow though with my noble plan of life-long singleness. I think I would have been a disaster. She has brought me six wonderful children I never could have known without her. She has guarded my back with loving faithfulness, protecting and defending me from unknown dangers as my eyes have tended to focus only on what is immediately before me. She has given herself fully to me as my lover. I know more of the heart of God because of her love. She's smart and humble, gently steering me away from really stupid decisions, and softly planting wisdom in my heart. She's my best friend, and I love spending time with her. I would be very lonely without her.

I don't know what we'll be doing on our 30th anniversary, but I pray for that day to be like this one, filled with a joy which cannot be expressed, and a hope that feels like celebration even as it anticipates the future.

Mighty Men Christmas Dinner

Okay. So we planned this dinner for the MM. We only wanted it to be them and mentors - a really intimate occasion in which they could all sit down together and share a meal. WHAT WAS I THINKING??!! I cooked all day - enchiladas, chicken tortilla soup, beans, dessert, hot wassail.... My kids, my friend's kids, and 9 MM= CHAOS!! Especially in my 8x4 kitchen!? LOL! Buffets don't go so well in this small of a space. My sweet children were a bit stressed out and had to eat on a quilt in the playroom. Before the p.m. was over, Randy was in one of our precious MM's faces telling him to sit down or get out - surprisingly, he stayed! Another guy was announcing to everyone that he had gotten "jumped" into a gang that week. Hmmm. I just can't see this scene in a dreamy family Christmas movie! LOL! Randy just collasped on the floor, exhausted, as soon as the last one walked out the door. I told my husband that night that I think I need to host an event with less than 10 children soon so that I can remember what it's like to eat and TALK with other adults at my house! Hopefully, they were blessed! We probably won't be doing that again for at least another year!
Byron looking cool.

It was Alphonzo's birthday so he got to cut the cake.

Samadge - what's up with the earrings?!

the table before it was attacked! By the way, the perspective of this pic makes this little dining area look much bigger than it actually is!

Our week

Our first possibly broken bone. Truly amazing with six children! Josiah took a flying leap off our front porch steps after slipping on the ice on Tuesday a.m. before school. They'll do x-rays again on Tuesday before we leave town because it was difficult to tell if his elbow was fractured or not. If it is, he'll get a cast. Otherwise, he gets to take off this splint and he is READY! Unfortunately, this took him out of his last football game. Can't throw a lot of touchdown passes with no right arm!

christmas

I guess I could've come up with a better title. Too much effort! Does anyone else (mothers) feel this weird pressure to create the perfect Christmas memories every year? I am an idealistic perfectionist and am therefore prone to be pessimistic. My beloved husband is a realist and yet is an optimist. We have often tried to figure out this mystery. I think being a realist is better - you don't get let down as easily. ANYWAY! I have no idea what I'm rambling about - I'm actually sitting here on a Sunday afternoon with a mere eleven children in my house...feeling peaceful! THERE IS A GOD! But back to the creation of perfect memories. On Friday, the kids were finally out of school and we decided to have a family Christmas fun day! We began by having a family gift exchange with gifts that we found around the house. That was fun - really it was. Then we decided to go hang out at the Botanic Gardens and have a picnic. This was probably the highlight of our day (who has a picnic on Dec 19th - only in Texas). So far, so good. We were actually enjoying one another's company and the reality of the perfect family day seemed within my grasp. But alas, things began to go downhill when we returned home. My eldest daughter became moody due to the fact that her younger siblings just got on her last nerve - she was ready to quit her job of being the big sister. Bickering among everyone. This can really kill the perfect family fun Christmas day. We just never recovered the mood. We ate homemade chicken nuggets and mac & cheese, watched Frosty the Snowman, and ate popcorn and drank wassail. Still very little contentment. Sigh.... But I have been determined to enjoy Jesus this week, darn it! :) So my husband and I were on a short date last night and we're discussing some issues we're having with a couple of our kids. I suggest that we should be praying TOGETHER about this stuff and he just says "I hate praying with you." This was a startling and disappointing announcement. LOL! But so good. Revelation is good, right? He further explained that he always feels like he is disappointing me by not leading us in the way I think he should. Maybe there has actually been some truth to this in the past so he was justified in his declaration. Anyway, we went home and prayed for about 25 minutes TOGETHER (and we both enjoyed it). And then we prayed together again this a.m. And guess what? This has been the best Sunday we've had in a long time. I didn't dread cell today and it felt less chaotic. Even with my snotty-nosed three-year-old and 10-month-old crawling all over me during church, I felt happy. And now with three extra kids here, I'm still happy. Jesus is really kind. And as my kids are decorating sugar cookies and wrapping presents (while I sit here relaxing and blogging :)), I am experiencing one of those moments that would've failed if I had tried to create it! Life by the Spirit is a lot easier than life by my flesh. Hmmm....you'd think I would have learned this by now. May those of you reading this be over-the-top content in Jesus this week! Here are some pics from the week...

I really like this one - I'm calling it "worshipping turtles"!


Inside a giant tree trunk!

the family gift exchange game - lots of interesting treasures.

Ol' Red

I've named my plunger. I don't know when we first got him, but he's been with us most of 15 years I'm sure. I didn't feel the need to name him until recently, but we've become pretty close lately. Once relegated to the garage, he now enjoys a special spot right outside the back door, kept warm on those cool evenings by the dryer vent. I keep him there because I got tired of walking to the garage every other night when the toilet stopped up. Maybe it's only 2-3 times per week, but it's still way too often for a toilet to stop up.
Call a plumber, you say? Oh, I have. I've called several. I keep the names of 4-5 plumbers in my cell phone. But most of the time Ol' Red does the trick for me. Just a few plunges and the clogs usually vanish--for a day or two.
Once I took the toilet out and looked to see what the problem was. On this family blog I feel it would be inappropriate to describe what I found, but after cleaning it out and putting the toilet back in place, I was hopeful that the problem was solved. Alas, it was not to be. I bought a 25 foot toilet snake thing that you hook to the end of a drill. I only used it once. Now I just go to the back porch, pick up Ol' Red and get the job done.
In fact, I've even trained Josiah to use Ol' Red. He is able to clear all but the most stubborn of clogs, though lately I've noticed he always seems to be busy with his homework when I call for his help.
Well, that's probably more than you wanted to know about our family life today.
Merry Christmas.

Misc pics from the past few weeks

Luke playing the Wii with some neighbors!

My kids and their photos

McKenna and Luke took lots of pic on my camera the other day - here are some of my favorites. They're turning into pretty good little photographers!

If only he would always feel that way about kissing girls...

Josiah and football!

Watching this boy play football is LOTS of fun! He's had lots of practice with the Mighty Men so he's learned a lot in the past several months and it shows! He has scored at least one touchdown in every game except one. Yesterday he had an interception and also got to play quarterback. He is FAST (and I like to take credit for that since, after all, my track nickname in junior high was "fast white girl." Please, no laughing....)

That's his coach in the background - he used to play for TCU and is a really great encourager, etc.

Angel Tree Party

Christ Fellowship hosted an Angel Tree party today at our church offices. Angel Tree is an organization in which you choose a family and buy Christmas gifts for their kids for and give them on behalf of their incarcerated parent. We had food, activities, and my sweet husband organized a Christmas pageant (using the official "Dale Brown family script") using the kids that came to the party. Trisha, you would have been proud. (Actually, I was making fun of him and calling him "Trisha" last p.m. because he was making the costumes a little more elaborate than I would have :)!). The party went well and it was fun hanging out with all of these special people!

Prayers of repentance

Deow Gawd,
Thank you fow this day and please help me not to stick a tack in my bwothew's shoulder anymore. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Isaac

Deow Gawd,
Thank you fow this day and please help me not to hit my bwothew in the back with a wight sabew (light saber). In Jesus' name, AMEN.
Isaac

moriah quote

There have been many memorable Moriah quotes, but I really enjoyed this one today. We were in the middle of yet another battle about getting dressed (it only lasted about 45 minutes) and somewhere in the middle of it she says "If I had a dandelion, I'd wish that you weren't my mother." It still makes me laugh out loud to even read it. Those are some fightin' words right there! Love that girl. I think I'll take some pics of her tomorrow and post them - she's so fun to photograph and it helps to look at cute pictures! Ha!

weakness

"My power is made perfect in weakness"....well....His perfection should be off the charts in my house tonight.
To be honest, I'm pretty discouraged. Pretty disappointed with the weakness of my character. So I've been without my children for the past 3 days. I really cleaned my bathroom for the first time in months. My living room floor was actually visible; I dusted AND vacuumed. I finished decorating for Christmas and everything stayed where I put it. I actually went a whole day without running the dishwasher - and the laundry was all washed and folded. Malachi slept all night long the past few nights and no one else woke me up, so I felt well-rested. My times with Jesus were longer and more peaceful in the mornings. I didn't yell at anyone. I didn't spend one drop of energy spanking or training anyone. I only had to respond to ONE little person's demands at a time. I went to dinner with my husband and my baby last p.m. - we ate peacefully and had MORE uninterrupted conversation. There was no "whine" with our dinner. My brain and my spirit actually found oxygen and I was beginning to feel like anything was possible; I couldn't wait to see my babies again....And here I am, just hours later, sitting in my ravaged living room (and I do mean ravaged) covered in mountains of unfinished homework, dirty dishes decorating the kitchen, feeling like a completely different woman. I literally felt like a different person living a different life just a few hours ago. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME??!! My yelling and spanking "fast" is over. I'm exhausted again. And the demands of six little blessings feel like too much weight to bear - I just can't respond to 4-6 clamoring voices all at once. I cannot help three people with their homework simultaneously. I cannot read a bedtime story to Moriah AND listen to Luke read to me at the same time. (Randy is gone tonight, so things probably seem esp. overwhelming - but honestly, they still did when he was here this afternoon). I don't really feel like smiling right now. I want my freedom back, darn it.
This is not really a blog about how horrible my children are (because they're not at all) and really not even some self-condemnation rampage. (And I realize that none of this is a big deal - I have a GREAT life). I am just astounded at the depth of my selfishness!! And I am struck by the sweet mercy of God in giving me so many people in my home to aid in the destruction of this nasty flesh! It is just frightening to me that I was such a nice person for a few days - ha! :) The Lord has been digging out deep roots of discontentment (is that a word?) and pride for the past several weeks. I am humbled once again tonight. He is my ONLY source of power and my only hope for contentment in ALL circumstances. His grace is HUGE! I fall on Jesus again tonight. It's a good thing my kids came home - I might have started thinking that I could handle life without Him if they had stayed away much longer....ha,ha,ha.
"O my Strength, I watch for you; you, O God, are my fortress,my loving God....But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my Strength, I sing praise to You; You, O God, are my fortress, my loving God." Psalm 59:9, 16-17 (okay, David was being stalked by murderers when he penned these words, but they still encourage me! :))