character training - mine and theirs

Rough a.m. today getting everyone to school - they were up way too late last p.m.  I've got to get busy with MK and the boys, but just wanted to write down my quick thoughts about training and children.  I used to think that my job was just to sort of direct them and keep them from doing things that were annoying or embarrassing to me (HORRIBLE confession, but unfortunately true).  God has been and still continues to change my heart, but what I'm now beginning to realize is just how much TIME character training takes!  And so does encouragement.  And this means that we can't always be in a hurry, which is an easy trap to fall into.  Margin.  I'm not just talking about overcommitment, although we've certainly been there NUMEROUS times (and may be right now, actually).  I'm just talking about planning ahead so that we're not rushing out the door every time we go somewhere.  Anyway, I used to think that "micro-management" of character issues that came up was a huge mistake in parenting.  Realizing that my beliefs about all of that are changing.  It matters whether or not I actually calmly and patiently deal with siblings being unkind to each other.  It matters whether or not I deal with the ingratitude (big or small) that I hear coming from their lips.  It matters if they roll their eyes at me or one of their siblings.  It all matters!!  I had a close friend tell me recently that you can "crash course" anything your kids need to know academically, but you can't do a crash course in character.  This same mom spent an hour or two dealing with two of her children who had been being unkind to each other - many would say it wasn't a big deal - just a little bickering and bad attitudes.  But it matters now.  And I have to decide if it's more important than hurrying, than wondering about what people think about how I spend my time and energy or what they think about what my children are doing in public (i.e. throwing huge tantrums in the store).  The humbling part of all this is that God is forming MY character through all of this!!  How can I train people to have an encouraging tone of voice if I'M talking ugly!!  And I also can't do it if I'm tired and grumpy because I've left no margin for to breathe easily and move at a reasonable pace.  Bottom line is that it's all about hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit and doing what He says.  There is always grace and margin for that.  And there is grace for training over and over and over and over and over again every stinkin' day for the next 20+ years!!!!!!!!!  Thank you, Jesus!