*someone recently hooked us up with a link to a ministry in Nashville that a couple started called Front Porch. They moved to the "hood" with their 4 children, not knowing what God was going to do with them. It quickly became obvious that they were supposed to be loving the children and their house is alive with LOTS of kids all the time. As the woman spoke about these kids and their families, she was about to cry. I realized how cynical I've become instead of broken-hearted. I wouldn't cry over the kids (or adults) in my hood right now. Hard revelation because there's no doubt in my heart that Jesus would.
*While we were in Tennessee I read a book called Living on the Devil's Doorstep by Floyd McClung. He's an old YWAM guy that has been to our church and spoken at World Mandate more than once. This book is his own story about how his family started ministries involving people on the "hippie trail" back in the 70's and how they moved into the Red Light District in Amsterdam. They did it without and then with children. Here is an encouraging (and convicting) quote from his book about their decision to move into the R Light District:
"God was not just calling Sally and me to this work - He was calling us as a family, which meant the children as well, and as such He would look after us and protect us. We had to be prepared to act on the belief that our security was in God, not where we lived. If we followed Him in faith and humility, trusting Him for all that we needed, then we felt we would be bequeathing a spiritual legacy to our children that would mean far more than any amount of money or material happiness. We believed that there were more pitfalls and dangers facing those living in the apparent safety and serenity of suburbia, who have one eye on the mortgage and the other on the video recorder.
"There are Christians living in such neighborhoods because they know that they have been called there to be salt and light, so it is God's sovereign lordship in their lives that keeps them there. But many people are living in comfort because they simply want to be there. Despite all we have experienced since moving into the Red Light District [and let me just say here that Como looks like "Mayberry" compared to this place in Holland!!], we still believe that these families face greater danger than we do. In fact, we believe one of the reasons God called us to live in the heart of the city was to challenge other families about their values and direction in life. God wants to use every family in some form of ministry, and that only comes as parents seek God for His purposes for their family collectively."
"The muggers, the porn marketers, and the drug pushers are all recognizable threats. The lure of materialism and its spirit-sapping insidiousness is far harder to identify, but it can be equally devastating in its effect on a family. You can't get much further from God than a life in which you, and not He, are number one. Some people get their kicks from handing over money - for drugs, sex, or whatever. Others get theirs by making money and hoarding it. Each is a form of addiction to what they perceive as personal happiness, whether it is a drug-blown oblivion or designer-style living."
So shouldn't I feel just great about myself after reading such a quote? I mean, I've moved my family to a lower class neighborhood, right? What I've been realizing, though, is that while I've moved physically, my heart hasn't moved as much toward loving people as I would like. You can live anywhere and still have a divided heart (been praying Psalm 86 a lot). And you can still live here and worship the god of materialism. As I read about the McClung family and how they had to depend on God for their food at times and for virtually everything materially, I was envious. I don't know God in that way. As Christmas approaches, RB and I are in a "wrestling match" with the Lord again about how we can find Jesus in the holiday that supposedly celebrates Him. He seems to get buried under the avalanche of stuff every year in spite of our weak attempts to change it. Anyway, that's another post! :)
Another part of the book that got me thinking was Floyd's story about a man who discipled him early on before he was even married. He was an old man in his 70's who was still pouring out his life for Jesus. He would take Floyd with him to other countries and was constantly asking him if he cared. If he really cared. Floyd began to realize that he really didn't and as he watched this old mentor weep over the broken, his heart was also changed forever. I want to REALLY care!!
This is just another part of our journey that God has us on right now. For the past year or so, God has been completely transforming both Randy and me concerning marriage and family. He had to pull us away from being overcommitted to some outside ministries so that He could walk us through growing some deep roots at home that weren't there when we moved here. Now He's leading us - as a family - into another level and it's exciting and scary and overwhelming some days. But we both have the sense that something is coming. You know what I mean? And now I'm beginning to ask Him more for His love to be released in me as I see more of HIS love. Beth Moore said in a Bible study, "You will always be reflection of the God that you perceive." Can't love others without a revelation of His love for us. It's messy. It's not convenient. It's scary at times. But I think my soul is longing for a little "mess" again. And how will my children learn the love of Christ for people, esp. the poor if all we do is talk about it? They will only be discipled as we walk in integrity. Lord, give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name!!
1 comment:
soooooo good Anda!!! i love your honesty and insight. I know that "something is coming" feeling and its exciting and scary too. But He is Good and Faithful and its a beautiful story He is writing for the Browns family and the Kingdom!
Post a Comment