hospitality and community - part 1 (ha!)

Let's start with a little comic relief - my oh-so-creative eldest children experimenting with their faces. :) They really got a kick out of this and wanted me to take their pics so that I could put them on the blog.

Okay, I'm pretty "worked up" right now and I'm praying that I will write with grace AND truth. There is just this thing in me that has been brewing for several weeks now concerning the poor, and hospitality, and community....But while I know that I'm beginning to see justice (and then, only the tip of the iceberg), I also know that without love it is NOTHING! I guess I'm in the middle of wrestling through what true hospitality is and what biblical community really looks like. So just recognize that this is my wrestling - and I'm sort of "thinking out loud."

I'll start with this cool journal entry that I found last week as Randy and I were preparing to speak at Christ Fellowship's training school. We were trying to piece together the story that God has been putting together over the past 10 years and were remembering how much I used to despise Como! :) At one point (October 4, 2003, to be exact), I started this "poor" journal to record my journey of learning about/loving the poor. I think I only wrote about 4 pages in it - ha! But it was encouraging to see that even when we offer up weak, desperate prayers with the smallest (often not visible) seed of faith, God is FAITHFUL! Here is what I wrote (I didn't remember this at all):

"This is my 'poor' journal. I am on a search into the heart of God so that I can see what He sees, feel what He feels, and be overwhelmed by the love of Christ for the poor. I don't have God's heart right now, and the thought of having a broken heart for the poor, lost, and dying seems quite impossible. But God wants us to have His fullness. May He open my eyes and the eyes of other believers who aren't 'seeing' yet.

So if I lay it all out there, what are my feelings today about my husband's passion for the poor? What are my feelings/views of the poor?

I feel very little and what I do feel is usually negative. It seems hopeless. A lot of them say they know God or are Christians or whatever, but I see no evidence of that.

When Randy talks about Como or I hear anyone else talking about it, a very negative, yucky thing rises up in me. I do not feel like we've 'connected' in Como. Maybe a little, but I can think of a million other things I'd rather do than go hang out with those people. Randy can think of nothing he'd rather do more.

So because I believe that God put RB and I together for a reason - we are ONE and it's not an accident - and because I believe that God has placed a love and burden for the poor in RB, I cannot help but believe that He has to break down this wall between us and give me passion for the poor.

Like any conviction, it cannot and will not be brought into reality through guilt. That would be a joyless burden. It has to be revelation from God and my heart must be brought under His LORDSHIP in this area. Joy, passion, unity, vision, and peace will be birthed through this revelation."

Okay, so through a LOT of breaking and in the sweet mercy of God, He has brought Randy and I together. I think what I'm beginning to see and experience right now is the justice part of seeing the poor. The next place I believe the Lord is taking me is into love. But for now, I'll write about justice.

I'm about to finish a women's Bible study that has, like any Bible study, had strengths and weaknesses. It's HUGE strength is its focus on REALLY loving and serving our husbands. I'm so thankful for the many ways I've been challenged and changed in this area. But here is what's beginning to dawn on me - can the gospel really be the gospel if we leave out the poor? For years, my sweet husband has been telling me that it's not a peripheral issue - it is central to everything that Jesus taught and still is. I think maybe he is right. As I've been in this Bible study, which covered many topics including home management, loving your children, hospitality, etc., I realized that I couldn't hear much of what these women on the videos were saying because the poor were excluded. For instance, this week one of our memory verses was Proverbs 31:20: "She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." In the American church we have either ignored this verse or made it comfortable for us. In this week's study, it was basically interpreted as a call to help people in our circles who are hurting in some way. i really just think it means what it says - open our arms and touch the poor. I noticed that the cross-reference in my Bible for this verse was Deuteronomy 15. This was a very interesting chapter to me because I saw that I guess God knew we were going to mess this up! In verse 4 He says "However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, He will richly bless you, if only you fully obey the Lord your God and are careful to follow all these commands I am giving you today." But then just a few verses later in v.7 He says "If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs....Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land."

So those last few words - God wasn't talking about the emotionally needy or rich sad people that show up to church on Sunday. He was actually talking about the poor. Am I saying that we ignore the rich sad people? Absolutely not! (I would hate to be ignored). But I am saying that we've got to stop rationalizing all the verses about the poor that are in the Word of God (and there are so many I cannot possibly type all of them!!) to make ourselves feel better about ignoring them. (i hope you know that i can write about this because i'm so experienced in it - i'm guilty, guilty, guilty! - praise God for His grace)! Jesus also talked about the poor always being with us and I've heard this verse used in the argument that He was saying that they would always be there so just let them be there - you will never be able to fix the problem. Randy pointed out in his sermon this summer at CF that Jesus didn't tell us to love the poor to fix them, He told us to love the poor to fix US! I can now say, after just beginning to taste this life, that it is 100% true.

Several weeks ago, I was sitting in my Bible study feeling like a complete freak as I watched a video on hospitality. I couldn't figure out why I was so agitated and then I found this book (on my own shelf, which is hilarious) called Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains. Best book I've ever read - really. She gets it. She has four kids and is a grandmother. She lives in the suburbs now, but she lived as a pastor's wife in inner city Chicago for over 10 years and she gets it. The book is about so much more than hospitality and she addresses the trap of the American definition of hospitality so well. It's really not even a book about the poor - she talks about welcoming everyone - she just doesn't leave the poor out. I was agitated while watching those Bible study videos because the setting was in a woman's very affluent house with very affluent looking women and all I could think was "I couldn't bring my neighbors here - it would be completely irrelevant to them." The gospel is irrelevant to no one, especially the poor.

In her book, Karen Mains writes this fictitious story to make a point and I think I'll type it here tomorrow. It had me in tears as I saw how true it is - of my own heart and of the church in America. It's too long and I've got to go to bed. Until tomorrow....

(Please know that I'm smiling!! :) :) I'm just feeling a bit intense about this subject at the moment! :))