blogworthy quote...

So today Isaac walks in and says with a bit of passion, but matter-of-factly (is that a word?): "Mom! Luke needs Dad's flashlight because he lost 2 pieces of his gum in my crack [pronounced 'cwack']!" I just sat there trying to decide when to bust out laughing. He didn't get how funny it was - he was just referring to the space between his bed and the wall. You wouldn't believe how many things have gotten lost, stuck, or found in his CWACK! LOL!!

human trafficking in the USA

WARNING: If you don't want to be held accountable for the poor and don't know about human trafficking in our country, then stay ignorant and don't read this post. I'm really not trying to be rude. I'm serious. About one month ago, I was completely clueless and so I couldn't do anything. Now that I know, I am held accountable by the One who deeply cares about the chains of injustice.

Okay. I don't know if any of this will make sense because I'm "full" and overwhelmed and it might be hard to communicate my thoughts, but I guess this is just the story of one thing God is currently doing - in my own heart and in our country in general. I get together on a regular basis with a couple of friends for coffee and we've been doing this for a couple of years. Our late night conversations have covered a VAST range of topics and have knit our hearts together and kept us sane! :) About a month ago, one of them told me I had to read this book called Renting Lacy but she told me not to read it when I was depressed - it had made her physically sick. So I borrowed it and read it. Prior to reading this book, here's what I thought about prostitution in our country (keep in mind that I see prostitutes on the streets of my own neighborhood). I believed that although they probably had less-than-ideal home situations growing up, they had made some bad choices and chosen this "profession" because they could make good money and support drug habits, etc. I believed they wanted to be there and that they should be "punished" through incarceration because what they're doing is horrible. I believed that while there were some "sicko" situations, in general, prostitution "incidents" were just men looking for sex (married or not) who got what they needed and moved on. All of those sterotypical thoughts have been shattered. I love it and hate it when the Lord moves in and changes our stereotypes and perspectives. I have heard of and read a little about sex trafficking of girls in other countries, esp India. We have contributed money through World Vision and other ways to help rescue those girls. I was disturbed when I heard about those girls, but I was shocked (which is an understatement) to learn about what is going on here in the US and specifically in the Metroplex, and even more specifically, my own neighborhood. Renting Lacy was written by an former Congresswoman who became an advocate for these girls when she discovered what was going on. I was ignorant (and still am on one level, praise God) of the depravity of man (rich and poor). Here's what's happening. Typical profile of a prostitute: Girl who has a bad homelife - maybe abused, one parent at home, maybe a runaway, wants a better situation. The pimps know how to spot them so they pretend to be a sweet boyfriend and "romance" them, sometimes for months. Then they do this weird brainwashing or just take them and they then "belong" to them. These guys are business men and they are running huge and profitable businesses. I went to a meeting the other night about this and it is the second-largest and fastest-growing criminal activity in the world. It is predicted that it will soon surpass drugs - they can only sell drugs one time; they can sell a child over and over again. The porn industry has made this business skyrocket, for obvious reasons. They have these girls doing online porn and then men who are looking for prostitutes want younger and younger girls (I am talking 12 and 13 year olds) because it's what they're watching. So porn addiction is not only about purity, it's about oppressing the poor. Heavy. So if you see an 18-19 year old prostitute, many of them have been doing it since they were as young as 12 and there really is no easy way out. They are threatened, etc. And not only that, these girls are the ones that are prosecuted while the johns are let go and the pimps are rarely caught. Yeah, it's REALLY messed up. So the meeting I attended Tuesday p.m. was done by this ministry called Traffick911. It was started by a woman from Dallas and they are currently in the planning stage for opening 3 shelters in this area. There are just a handful of shelters across the nation. We are sending lots of money and monitoring sex trafficking in other countries, but we have done very little for our own children! Anyway, Texas is the leader in the nation for this business and Dallas/Fort Worth are the leading cities in the nation. Traffick911 (traffick911.org) is in the process of organizing a huge awareness/rescue effort for the SuperBowl in 2011 because big sporting events mean high demand. And as long as there is demand, there will continue to be suppliers. The speaker said that people are already renting their houses out for thousands of dollars and some of those homes will be turned into brothels for the weekend. Another thing I learned was that Craigs List is making millions on these ads for child prostitutes - they know about it and will do nothing to stop it. You can read about that on this link: (and I've looked at them and some of those girls are definitely under 18)

http://humantrafficking.change.org/blog/view/craigslist_makes_36_million_from_illegal_sex_ads

So after this woman's presentation I went up to her and asked her about Como - she said it was "huge", meaning the problem is huge here. I think I knew that, but it was still so sobering. I think all of us who attented that meeting are still a bit "shaken up" just trying to sort through it all and pray and see where God wants us to go next with what we now know. One of my friends just keeps saying "He is stronger and He is bigger!" Just a few weeks ago, RB and I spoke at our church's training school and one of the things I talked about was something this Brazilian church planter said to us back when we were in training school. He said that there is a demonic spirit of Poverty and it will rise up, look you in the face, and say "Fix THIS!" It is just too overwhelming and too big...IF we take our eyes off Jesus. What I told the class that night was that if we let ourselves get "under" the darkness, we will no longer be effective and will stop bringing the light to the very places that need it the most. SO I've been trying to listen to the voice of God this week and take my own advice (ha, ha) because it's so easy to let the darkness of this situation creep into the very depths of your soul. But so thankful for the Body of Christ, and God is clearly moving to bring people to awareness and then to action. Really can't wait to see what He is about to do here in the Metroplex and although these last few weeks have been sobering, it is exciting to get to be a part of His mission.

So I write all of this to make maybe a few people aware. We're talking about 300,000 kids in our country and the Lord needs us to rise up and not ignore the cry of the poor, in this case, children. I know I'll never look at the kids who show up at my doorstep in the same way again. More later...I'm full of so much that God is revealing right now! But have terrible sore throat and have to go sleep while I can!

Happy Birthday Josiah!

Breakfast birthday cake yesterday morning (that's why he looks a little sleepy).

Didn't get this posted yesterday, but wanted to wish my sweet ELEVEN year old Happy Birthday! So proud of Josiah! Love his leadership, hard work, and the way he loves to analyze/figure things out - seeing engineer on fire for Jesus?? :) He is growing in Jesus and I can't wait to see what God does in his sweet heart this year! Love you Josiah! And isn't he handsome? :)

Piper Joy - 6 months old today!

Just wanted to take a few pics today of my littlest one - cannot believe it's been 6 months! She really is a joy and we all love her. Can't imagine our family without her! I crack up when I think about how different her "babyhood" is from that of her oldest sister. MK's world was so QUIET and scheduled and orderly. Piper's is LOUD (and she always has someone in her face) with a relatively flexible routine and not much order. I started baby food on the day MK turned 4 months old and I introduced new foods "by the book." Piper still isn't eating solids and one day recently I decided to see what would happen if I gave her a little bite of banana. Maybe I'll start soon - but it's such a PAIN?!?! Never missed a well-check or scheduled vaccination with MK. I still haven't gone to Piper's 4-month-old check up. MK had a baby book the size of Nebraska by the time she was 3 months old AND a "life book" that is in progress. Piper might get a scrapbook...when she's 20. Love this journey of motherhood and how the seasons are always changing. Piper seems like she's okay with her crazy life. :)

one of her favorite faces - squinchy nose

My sweet 12-year-old (with BRACES!)

my men planting me some flowers

bad hair cut, but oh-so-cute with his messy self!

confession

Confession: today I wish I didn't live in the hood. There. I said it. A stay at Blackberry Farm is sounding really good about now - maybe for like 6 months?? :)

More creative photography by McKenna

Friends came over a couple of weeks ago and McKenna went to town with my camera. I've started handing it to her almost every time now! And she's starting to experiment with editing and having a lot of fun! Love that girl!

Eden

Isaac and Lyren

Catherine

Maisie - do you not just want to eat her up?

love this one!

dancing

Awkward. I hear the music. It's beautiful and I can envision what I look like when my feet and body glide effortlessly across the floor. But I don't look like the woman in my mind's eye. Awkward. The woman in my mind is passionate...joyful...unencumbered...welcoming...hospitable....Reality is awkward. My feet just won't move quite right. I feel like I'm trying to dance a dance that I was never intended to dance (a lie from the pit of hell, but still how I FEEL). I stumble. I try to stick with the beat, but I'm off again. I just look...awkward.

But it's worth it, right? The dance of community, specifically community with children, is worth it. Even now, as I write, I hear the sound of police helicopters overhead, circling our "hood" again. Second time today I've heard them (with all the emergency vehicles I see on my street and over my head, I don't know why anyone ever thinks that I would struggle with feeling safe here. LOL!). Community. Christ was all about it. He still is, especially with children. Which is why I long to not fight against it anymore! And while I am talking about community with my own children on one level, I'm mostly talking about neighborhood kids. Don't think a day has gone by recently when there weren't at least 2 at my door (yesterday a.m. 3 brothers were fully dressed for school and knocking at 5:50 a.m. They needed to use the phone - were wondering where their mama had disappeared to in the middle of the night...not particularly worried, just curious. I know her and I knew she was somewhere getting high. Maybe they just choose not to know anymore). I long to elegantly fling my front door open wide, ushering them into a safe haven, while providing them with food for body and soul. But the reality is that I'm awkward. Conversation is awkward. I'm mostly trying to figure out when I can ask them to leave. But today there was small breakthrough and I think I figured out one small dance step in the complicated rhythm. As I peered through my window and saw three girls approaching from down the street, I started praying out loud, "Lord, please give me Your welcoming spirit" (because, really, can you tell me that even when He had to say "no" or turn people away that they didn't somehow still feel welcomed?) and saying "Act happy to see them...Act happy to see them." Today I didn't make them ask to enter, I invited them in. Today I let them watch me as I bathed my 5-month-old. Today, I let the oldest one hold Piper for me while I did some chores around the house. Today, I asked them how school was and I learned that they had "science day" and that the eldest is working on a science project, a solar oven. Today, I talked about Earth Day with them and we tried to find some info about it on the internet together. And when I had to leave to go run errands, they asked to come with me....I had to say no and the parting felt awkward, but they've never asked before (at least not these particular girls). I wish that the steps I practiced today had been smoother. I wish that I had offered them the banana before they had to ask. I wish that we had read together and that I had been more affectionate and "mothering". I wish I had talked about Jesus and overflowed with the Word of God. BUT, the few steps that I got right today were Holy Spirit led and ordained by Father. Next time I will add a few more steps, and a few more after that. And I know that somehow, God is being glorified even in the midst of my tripped-up-awkward dancing. I love that my God is the God who uses the weak of the world to confound the wise. And I'm thankful that He is the One I get to dance with....Grace. It's a Grace dance.

Thoughts on my wife

Recently I had the opportunity to spend the day with 6 of my children without the loving presence of their mother. She had Piper (the 5 month old) with her. I noticed it was difficult. They are all great kids, but physically managing 6 kids proved to be a bit of a challenge. This is not profound, mind you, but I just felt the need to honor this woman who not only takes care of me, but cares for 7 children on an almost constant basis. Whenever I have spent a day caring for the kids, it seems appropriate for me to get a long nap or something similarly restful. I have no doubt that when Anda finishes her stent as a mother there will be a good nap waiting for her in heaven. :)
Randy

The First Mighty Man to drive!?

Our sweet D'Leeland got his driver's license about a month ago and has been loving it! Randy made a deal with him - he goes to a tutoring learning center twice a week and he gets to use...drumroll, please...the beautiful cadillac!! (some of you may not be aware that my husband purchased a 1984 BLUE cadillac sedan deville a few months back...we're still not sure why, but people here in our neighborhood think he's really cool - or I guess they think D'Leeland's cool now). Anyway! We love D'Leeland and we are so proud of him!

Yes, this car is longer than our Suburban!!!

This one is cuter!

Okay, I'm sorry, but I thought THIS picture was the cutest one of my lipstick boy! It only took it 2 1/2 days to come off. This kid has the whole family wrapped around his little finger right now. :)

"...and all who touched Him were healed."

THANK YOU JESUS! I cannot describe the dry desert of a place I've been in lately. Tonight the Lord has shown up and watered my parched soul. This a.m. while having my quiet time in the Suburban (okay, give me a break, it's the ONLY place where no one can interrupt me - well, one of my precious blessings was actually banging on the living room window motioning to me to come inside, but I was able to resist :)), I begged God to speak to me. I've just been paralyzed and feeling "yuck" spiritually. I thought I heard Matthew 14. I read verses 22-36 (Jesus and Peter walking on the water) and realized that I have been obsessed with the wind and the waves surrounding me and have completely forgotten to fix my eyes on Him. But Jesus is not slow to reach out His hand and catch me, even as He gently rebukes me for having so little faith. I ask Him to just let me touch Him so that I could once again be healed. So tonight as I'm holding my littlest I turn on my "labor" playlist and worship as I slowly dance with her in the dark. I'm playing "her song" (yes, she still cuddles up and relaxes the instant she hears "You'll Come" by Hillsong - I'm dying to know at what point in my labor this song was playing!!) and He does come. And I get to touch Him - and He touches me. I couldn't stop telling Him how much I loved Him as the reality of what He has done began cracking the hardened places of my heart. I had just shared the story of the cross two different times with my children and the words wielded their power! Overwhelmed. I love Him so much!

We are so broken...we are SO broken!! I told little PJ tonight that she is so broken, but He has COME! And it is her destiny to proclaim the joy that is ours as we get to walk in freedom! Cannot wait until Sunday!

Malachi and Moriah

Malachi somehow hoisted himself into the kitchen sink. We're not sure why.

I know it looks like we beat the boy, but that is his mother's lipstick which he artfully applied to himself. We don't know why. It was her good lipstick. The kind that lasts for weeks. We washed it, but it didn't really help much. It will make for a memorable family Easter picture.
Normally I don't brag as a father, but I just felt compelled to share that Moriah scored two goals in the 2nd soccer game of her life. She is loving soccer, and we're enjoying watching her play. Isn't she cute?

Randy

Admirer or Follower?

Been feeling heavy lately thinking about what it really means to follow Jesus. Sunday, the sermon was on believing Jesus and here are the four "categories" that he talked about that we find ourselves in: 1)believing the stories about Jesus (Muslims and Buddhists do this), 2)believing in Jesus (usually the salvation experience), 3) believing Jesus, and 4) believing what Jesus believes. Do we really believe Jesus? Like do we really believe that it's better to lose our lives for the sake of the gospel? Do we really believe that we should love our enemies and pray for those that persecute us? Do we really believe that suffering is what we are called to - I mean, really? Do we really believe that we are supposed to LOVE the poor? Do we really believe that we will do greater things than Jesus? There are a thousand other questions that will really send you to your knees when you start to ponder them. And what does it mean to believe what Jesus believes?! Wow! And then I just read this quote from Kierkegaard:

"And Christ's life indeed makes it manifest, terrifyingly manifest, what dreadful untruth it is to admire the truth instead of following it. When there is no danger, when there is a dead calm,when everything is favorable to our Christianity, then it is all too easy to confuse an admirer with a follower.

And this can happen very quietly. The admirer can be under the delusion that the position he takes is the true one, when all he is doing is playing it safe. Give heed, therefore, to the call of discipleship!

If you have any knowledge of human nature, who can doubt that Judas was an admirer of Christ?

Youch! I don't want to forfeit grace and fall under condemnation (because that is from the enemy), but there's no doubt that it's easy to become apathetic and stop asking the hard questions that wake us from a dangerous slumber. I know that I need to be awakened right now. I am feeling the suffocating consequences of becoming a bit too self-centered instead of cross-centered lately. I have satisfied myself (although it is quite UNsatisfying) on a diet of media, unhealthy (literal) food, and whatever other distractions I think will bring temporary relief instead of feeding my soul on the WORD OF GOD and on BEING with Him. I can say all the right things and know quite a bit, but am I REALLY following Him right now as a disciple and not just a "fan club" member?

The fact that God called me to a no-drugs delivery with Piper has come up over and over again over the past few months. I have a close friend who is always talking about doing life with "no drugs" - not trying to escape the pain/hard stuff, but just walking through it. At World Mandate this year, Jimmy Siebert even used a powerful analogy of the epidural (and was quick to point out that he's not trying to make a statement about whether it's okay or not to use on in actual childbirth - I'm not either). Anyway, his point was that when you have no epidural you can feel where to push. When you have an epidural, you can't really feel anything and someone has to tell you when and how to push - as a result, many women end up pushing from their neck up because they can't feel anything else. He made the very powerful point that in America we are experts at trying to avoid the pain and we therefore push with our HEADS! Everything is about what we can reason out or THINK through and we stop feeling the pain/going to the pain because we have anesthesized ourselves to death! Sobering and true. Missing some joy right now. Know enough of life to know that JOY is going to come when I stop trying to be in control and let Him take me wherever He wants to this year. I'll put one of my journal entries concerning that later, but I need to go enjoy the beautiful spring weather with my kids at the park right now! Woo-hoo! Feeling more encouraged than I have in a while! He is always faithful to break through the hard places in our hearts!

Safe Saint's Prayer

"Thank you God for food and drink,

My shoes, my socks, the kitchen sink.

Thank you for my home and friends,

And all the blessings Jesus sends;

Anda thank you also for the cross

I hear you suffered quite a loss."

"The cross?" I hear my neighbor query,

"What is this which, like a cherry,

You reach in prayer with bended knee

To pluck from off the blessing tree?"

"It is the place where Christ was killed

That I will blessing might be filled.

He suffered there upon the tree

That all my blessings might be free."

"I see," said neighbor, "thinking deep.

He bought for you a life of sleep.

Forgive me, Saint, for I thought he

Did offer His same life to thee."

"I would not steal his glory, friend,

For on the cross his work did end.

The Word says Jesus paid my price.

To pay myself would not be nice."

"I quite agree my neighbor spoke.

You can pay nothing. You are broke.

But it is not dishonoring

To walk the footsteps of your king;

To worship him in word and deed

And not just in your lifeless creed."

May God bless us all to embrace the cross of Christ this Easter. Randy

my cute baby girl

already helping mom with laundry! :)

the girls' new beds!

So my hubby and I are trying to figure out how to fit another dresser in the girls' small room because we don't have a place for their clothes and suddenly RB is making plans for built-in bunk beds and scheming with our "builder" friend, Richard, about how to make it happen! They really are awesome! Wish I could sleep in there!

WARNING: this post won't be so encouraging

I think it's a bit ironic that I stood in front of a group of about 40 women 4-5 weeks ago sharing about how I had been delivered from depression and I've been under a funk without seeming to be able to get out from under it ever since. I can logically tell you that it's because I'm tired - really tired. Unfortunately, the kind of tired that I can't see the end of. Even now, I've been trying to put children to bed for the past 2 hours. Malachi just can't seem to get comfortable tonight. Sigh. He's now sitting beside me. I don't think there is a time in my life right now when I go longer than 2 hours without SOMEONE touching me...or asking me a question...or wanting FOOD (solid or breast)...or needing to be tucked in...or needing me to hold them...or needing help with any number of things...or...oh, I give up complaining. This little guy beside me is just too cute. I feel guilty - a lot of guilt, actually - for complaining at all. What do I have going on in life that's so bad? Nothing. Sometimes, though, God uses the everyday, mundane demands to stretch and grow me. Maybe these are harder in some ways than the crisis because we can see that we don't have the "right" to complain. There just doesn't seem to be justification for my whining. (is there ever? :)) But I have to say that I feel really S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D right now. Granted, I've slept hardly at all in the past 4 days, and not very well for the several weeks before that. Sleep deprivation makes a woman nuts. I'm real close to the edge (I don't really know what edge - just know I'm there). Prospects for sleep tonight looking dim. Malachi has ulcers in his mouth and he's just crying. Keeps waking him up. Not much I can do. Now both babies crying. You can see why I've blogged very little lately. Gotta go. The truth is that God does see mamas and He doesn't let go.